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100 Best Funny Birthday Wishes for Friends and Family


When wishing someone happy birthday, it worth trying to make them smile. After all, they have just turned another year older — they need it more than usual. Here we’ve rounded up the best funny birthday wishes, including funny birthday messages, greetings, quotes and sayings. Make your friends or family members smile on their special day with these funny birthday wishes.

Scroll through to find your favorite funny wish.

Our Favorite Funny Birthday Wishes

“On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship… and all that stuff that doesn’t cost anything. Happy Birthday!”

“Happy Birthday! For your special day I made you a cake. BOOM YOU’RE A CAKE! You’re so very welcome.”

“Happy birthday to a lifelong friend! I can’t wait until we’re old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together!”

“I can only hope to be as great a woman as you one day. But, obviously with better clothes. Happy birthday!”

“Happy Birthday Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you… But hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.”

“Happy birthday to my brother who has the world’s greatest sister! You are so lucky haha! Hope this makes you smile and shake your head for the rest of your special day!”

“Happy birthday, my dearest friend! Hope you have the best day celebrating. I can’t wait to BOOP you on the nose in a few short months. Love you always.”

“Even with your ripe old age, you’re still the best friend someone could ask for. I’ll get the prune juice ready though. Happy Birthday.”

“Here’s to many more rotations around the sun. May you live to be old and toothless – Jell-O is the caviar of the future! Happy Birthday.”

“May you live to be so old that the very sight of you terrifies babies and ex-lovers. Happy birthday!”

“At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober… Disappoint them. Happy Birthday!”

Ocean cliffs with funny birthday wishes

“It’s your birthday! You know what that means? One year closer to being that old guy who yells at kids “Get off my lawn!” Everyone loves that guy!”

“You’re older; you’re wiser; you’re sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents. Happy Birthday!”

“A wise man once said, “Forget about your past, you cannot change it”. I’d like to add: “Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one”. Happy birthday!”

“On your birthday you might be thinking “Oh man I’m getting old”, but don’t worry. Just because you’re old doesn’t mean you won’t still be doing dumb stuff. You’ll just be doing it slower. Happy birthday!”

“You know you’re 40 when your back is hairier than your head. Happy Birthday!”

“Turning 40 is a piece of cake and a few extra candles.”

Ocean sunset with happy 40th birthday wishes funny

“Everyone gets to be young once. Today it’s official, your turn is over. Happy birthday!”

“The best part of being over forty is that you did most your stupid stuff before the internet. Happy birthday!”

“Let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night. Happy birthday!”

“Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.”

Short Funny Birthday Wishes

“May you live so long your wrinkles have wrinkles. Happy birthday!”

“You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct! Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday to one old lady who still knows how to party! You rock!”

“Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday queen.”

“Older? Definitely. Wiser? …mmm debatable. Happy Birthday!”

Cupcake with short funny birthday wishes

“Your birthday is the perfect excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up!”

“May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it.”

“You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday to a guy who still isn’t showing his age… And definitely not acting it.”

“Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. Happy Birthday.”

“Pst, don’t grow up! It’s a trap. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! Super glad you were born.”

“Great news! You’re still alive! Happy birthday!”

“The first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.”

Ocean and cliffs with short happy birthday wishes for 40th

“Happiest of birthdays to she “she” to my “Nanigans”!”

“Happy birthday! I think it’s great… How you used to be young.”

“Happy birthday — I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me!”

“You know what they say about more candles… A bigger wish! Happy Birthday.”

“The secret to staying young is make up… Make up an age, then stick with it! Happy Birthday!”

“Be careful. Too many birthdays will kill you. Happy birthday!”

“Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.”

If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Belated Birthday Wishes, Happy 30th Birthday Wishes, Happy 40th Birthday Wishes and Happy 60th Birthday Wishes.

Cute Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

“Happy birthday to our smart, talented, superbly awesome and crazy cute niece! You obviously take after your favorite aunt hehe!”

“It’s your birthday, the anniversary of the day you triumphantly escaped from your mother’s womb. So, that’s pretty cool.”

“Happy birthday, mom! No matter what life throws at you, at least you can be grateful you don’t have ugly children. From, the pretty one!”

“Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It’s your birthday, just drink whatever’s in the glass!”

“On the occasion of your birthday, here are some words of wisdom just for you. Make sure to keep on smiling, while you still have teeth! Happy birthday old-timer!”

“Happy birthday! Don’t forget to iron that birthday suit.”

“Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.”

People taking selfie with cute funny happy birthday wishes

“It’s so great that my crazy really vibes with your weird. Happy birthday!”

“A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age. Happy birthday!”

“Since it’s your birthday, I’ll tell you now you’re a real catch. Fishing you a reel-y happy birthday!”

“You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!”

“If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him. Happy Birthday!”

“One minute, you’re young and fun. The next, you have a favorite burner on the stove. I think we both know which you are… Happy birthday!”

“It’s your birthday, you know what that means. Time for you to smile awkwardly while friends and family botch your birthday song. Good times!”

“To an amazing friend on their birthday, my only regret is not meeting you sooner so I could have annoyed you longer. Happy birthday!”

“I smell old people! Oh, wait no that’s just you. Happy birthday!”

“Happy Birthday from one fabulous gal to another!”

“Happy birthday! You don’t look a day older than dirt!”

“Out of all the men born on this day, I like you the best! (Well, I like you alright, “best” is a strong word.) Happy Birthday!”

“Congratulations, you’ve finally reached the wonder years… Wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?”

“For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life. Happy Birthday!”

“Happy birthday to a woman who never ceases to amaze me. Some days your brilliance knows no bounds. Other days you can’t find your keys because you put them in the fridge. You’re unbelievable!”

“Happy Birthday to someone who is comparable to fine wine and aged cheese. You get better with age, my dearest!”

“Happy Birthday to you. In your honor I will refrain from doing the Whip and Nae Nae dance! Of course if you really want me to I can bust a move.”

“Happy Birthday to someone who doesn’t quite look as old as a dried up prune yet. May all your dreams and wishes come true today and every day.”

“I’d give you my last chicken nugget. That’s really saying something. Happy Birthday!”

“A little advice on your special day, there is no shame in the Botox game. Happy birthday!”

“Happy Birthday to someone who doesn’t know how to load a dishwasher or fill the gas tank on her car!”

“Happy birthday! I’m really glad you were born today. My life would be so totally boring without you there to watch.”

“Those aren’t gray hairs you see. They’re strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.”

Frosty morning with funny birthday wishes for her

“A quick reminder on your special day… well-behaved women rarely make history. So, this year, let’s go ever crazier! Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday! Stay golden, girl.”

“Happy birthday to a real life Insta baddie.”

“On your birthday I thought I’d just let you in on a little secret.”

“A lady never reveals her…um… age. Yah, that sounds right. Happy birthday, lady!”

“Happy Birthday to the greatest female homosapien to ever walk the planet! Evolution stopped when it created you!”

“You definitely don’t look a day older than the age you tell people you are! Happy Birthday to someone full of sugar and spice and everything nice.”

“Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is definitely not as sweet as you! Happy Birthday to you! May your day be filled with nothing but roses!”

“Happy Birthday!! You are one-in-a-million and I’d rather spend the day celebrating your birthday than anything else—except for watching football, baseball, or hockey.”

“Happy Birthday to an incredible girl! I hope your birthday is perfect and you get everything you’ve ever dreamed of—except for Channing Tatum. I’ll have none of that!”

“Thanks for being such a great guy! Great big, that is. Happy birthday!”

“I mean, you have ME so I don’t know what else you have to wish for… but go off I guess… Happy birthday!”

“Roses are red, skateboards are sick, wishing happy birthday to you ya big… Catch! Yup, you’re a great, big catch.”

“Another year together has come and gone. What ever would I do without you? Not open jars, that’s for sure. Happy birthday man!”

“You’re pretty greasy, but I love you, I guess. Your grease never gets in the way of my love for you hehe. You also smell like my dog. Not a good smell. Love you. Happy birthday!”

“Happy Birthday from someone who puts up with your belching, farting, scratching, and remote control hogging!”

“I hope you don’t mind that I bought you a cake to give to your mom, congratulating your mom for going thru labor and giving birth to you. I mean, she was the one who did all the work. You just kinda popped out! Happy Birthday!”

“Some call it grounds for a stint in the mental hospital, we call it your special sparkle. Happy birthday!”

Cupcakes with funny birthday wishes for him

“I hope you have a great birthday my love! In fact, I know you will! As I am in it! Happy Birthday!”

“He celebrates his birthday every year because he has to feed me for his birthday gift each year!”

“I didn’t even have to be reminded by Facebook that it was your big day today! Impressed?! Happy Birthday to you!”

“Happy birthday, baby. Don’t fear getting old; being with an enticing lady like me, your youth is going to last much longer than expected!”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get Kate Upton climb inside the gift box. I still hope you like what I got you! Happy Birthday to a dirty old man!”

“For your special day I’ve arranged a tour of the local assisted living facility! If we get your room reserved now, you get a 20% discount! I hope you enjoy your amazing day! Happy Birthday, you old fart!”

“You might not be Christian Grey but I still love you more and more with each passing year! Happy Birthday to you, my better version of Mr. Grey.”

“It’s your birthday! I’m bringing the fire extinguisher! Let’s get this party started! Happy Birthday! May all your dreams come true this new year!”

“Congratulations! You’re now one more year closer to being known as the ‘dirty old man’!! Happy Birthday to you on this incredible day.”

“Happy Birthday to someone I love more than Nutella! I hope your special day is perfect and you get everything you ever wanted and more!”

“The wrinkles on your face make me feel so relieved because you’ve got no options other than me anymore!”

“How to fart like a man: 1) pass the gas. 2) pass the blame. You got this bro! Happy birthday!”

Funny Birthday Messages and Greetings

“I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.”

“Happy birthday! May your heart today be as full as your Facebook wall will be with birthday messages from people you’ve never spoken to.”

“For your special day, I’ve sent you a truly gracious present. It’s a ghost hug! You can’t feel it, but it is definitely there! Happy Birthday!”

“Forget about the past you can’t change, the future you can’t predict, and definitely forget about the present because I didn’t get you one. Happy birthday!”

Cheer up! You’re another day older every day.

Cake with funny birthday cake messages

“A friend like you is like a good bra, supportive, hard to find, and always getting on my last nerve. But hey, can’t live without them. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday, Dude! Congrats on getting a year closer to a senior citizen discount at the movies. Not to mention the best parking spots at the grocery store.”

“Happy birthday best friend! Here’s to another year of laughing at our own jokes, dealing with stupid people and keeping each other sane!”

“You’ve got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome… If you could remember any of it. Happy birthday!”

“Wow, another year under your belt. Just let me know how old we’re telling people you are now? Happy Birthday!”

“What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? “Thanks, I’ll never part with it!” Happy Birthday!”

“I would have made you a funny card, but I know at your age bladder control can be a problem… Happy Birthday!”

“If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember… You can always change your birthday on Facebook! Happy Birthday!”

“I’m so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!”

Cake with funny birthday messages

“It’s your party and you’ll cry if you want to; however, I don’t recommend it. You’ll ruin your makeup, and we will be taking a lot of pictures tonight. Happy birthday!”

“Party hard, but maybe bring a second set of underwear with you this time hahaha. Happy Birthday.”

“You may not be able to fold a fitted sheet, but otherwise you’re pretty cool. Happy birthday!”

“Friends celebrate friends on their birthdays. Real friends get you drunk on your birthday. Good thing for you I’m the second kind.”

“Happy birthday to a real friend of mine. In this day and age, those are harder to find than toilet paper, so you should definitely feel accomplished!”

“I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!”

“They say take every birthday with a grain of salt. I say take it with a whole bunch of salt, and bonus points if it accompanies a very large margarita. Make yours a double. Happy birthday!”

“If things get better with age, then you’re approaching magnificent! Happy Birthday.”

“Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.”

“It’s your special day! Treat me! Oops, I mean yourself. Treat yourself! (But also me.) Happy birthday!”

“Happy Birthday! Don’t think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here’s wishing you a wonderful year ahead!”

“Another day older is another day to chug more cake. Happy Birthday.”

“You suck at aging! Can you at least try to look older? Happy Birthday!”

“Happy birthday! I’m so pleased to hear you’re over the hill instead of under it.”

River and cliffs with funny birthday greetings

“Smart, good looking, and funny! But enough about me. Happy birthday!”

“You’re not old!… Oh, no wait, actually you are, sorry about that… Happy birthday!”

“I wouldn’t say you’re old… you’ve just been young for longer than most of us. Happy birthday!”

“Fun fact: Having a good birthday is 90% mental and 10% alcohol. Start the pouring, and happy birthday!”

“Is it hotter in here than usual? Must be all the candles on your cake. Happy birthday!”

“Birthdays are a lot like golf… It’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count. Happy birthday!”

“Don’t let old age get you down! It’s way to hard to get back up. Happy birthday, man!”

“We’ll be friends ‘til we’re old and senile… And then we’ll be new friends! Happy Birthday!”

“I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy Birthday!”

“If you got stung by a jellyfish, I would totally pee on you. That’s how much you mean to me bro. Happy Birthday!”

“You’re turning the perfect age. You’re old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy birthday!”

“Good thing I found you! Because to be honest, I think we both know you couldn’t find glasses if they were on your face girly. Happy birthday!”

“Turns out the right mask can make your special day a lot more fun. And by mask, I mean glass of alcoholic beverage. Happy birthday, bro!”

Funny Birthday Quotes

“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” — Bob Hope

“After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” — Bette Midler

“The older you get the better you get, unless you are a banana.” — Betty White                                                                                                                                       

“Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” — Billie Burke

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” — Kitty Collins

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball

Frosted cookies with funny birthday quotes by Ball

“Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!” — Kate Summers

“All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.” — George Harrison

“Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.” — Aziz Ansari

“I like birthdays because we celebrate with life with cakes. It’s so cool. Sometimes, when I see a baby, I’m like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I’m like the cake streak is over.” — Demetri Martin

“Birthdays are a great time to stop an appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room, so you don’t have to chase it.” — Greg Tamblyn

“Just remember once you are over the hill, you start to pick up speed.” — Charles Schultz                                                                                                            

“We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.” — John Glenn

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Mark Twain                                                                                                                                       

“You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.” — Irish Saying

“Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” — Nicky Gumbel

“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” — Ogden Nash

“I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.” — Francis Bacon

Funny Birthday Sayings

“Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.”

“I’m not aging, I’m marinating.”

“Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday and it said that I needed an upgrade.”

“It’s better to be over the hill than under it.”

“At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.”

“It’s better to be one month older than one month late!”

“Middle age is when a man is warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman.”

Cake with funny birthday sayings

“If birthdays were celebrated every week instead of every year, there would be a lot more happy people in this world.”

“Getting older is just part of life, and the other parts are even worse.”

“Some sayings just don’t seem to hold up in certain situations. One is, “The more the merrier.” This doesn’t hold true when you are talking about birthdays.”

“Some things are better with age. Too bad you aren’t one of them.”

“I decided to keep having birthdays because it beats the alternative… Death.”

“Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.”

“On your birthday you get to have your cake and eat it too.”

So there you have it! We hope we’ve helped you find the perfect wish you were looking for.

Pin it for later!

Frosty morning
Woman holding up a clear chunk of ice on the beach

About the Author

Laynni Locke

I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.

And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.

With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.

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