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150 Funny Christmas Captions to Add Humor to the Holidays

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Christmas is almost here! The season of mistletoe, candy canes, visits from Santa, decorating trees and visiting with family. All of this means you will end up with so many amazing Christmas photos and need equally amazing and preferably funny captions because we think that when it comes to Christmas captions funny ones are the best. We have scoured the internet for the best funny Christmas captions including hilarious Christmas Instagram captions, short witty Christmas captions, and funny Christmas card captions.

So whether you are putting up the Christmas lights, decorating your tree, mixing the perfect Christmas drink, or looking forward to Santa’s visit you will find the perfect funny caption here.

Funny Christmas Captions

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red

Dear Santa…can you please define “nice?”

Christmas is coming

Dear Santa…I can explain

Blurred Christmas tree with funny Christmas captions

Being good for goodness’ sake was not enough motivation

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases

We’re just a bunch of candy canes—sweet and slightly twisted

100% on the naughty list

All I want for Christmas is you (and maybe some Christmas cookies, too)

It’s beginning to *cost* a lot like Christmas…

Christmas break to-do list: Eat, drink, nap

You had me at ho ho ho

Skating Santa holding a small tree with funny Christmas captions that says You had me at ho ho ho

Drink up grinches

Believe in your elf

Eat, drink, and be merry

The battle between me and carbs is the real war this Christmas

May your regifting practice go undetected this year

Sweet and twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Snowy hair, don’t care. It’s Christmas!

The reason why we should always jingle all the way is because nobody likes half-assed jingles

Drink up, Grinches! It’s Christmas

Let’s go to the kitchen and whisk everyone a merry Christmas

Christmas Eve is the one night I’m looking forward to morning

Ooooooh. We thought you said, “Christmas BEER.”

Candy canes and snowflakes with a funny Christmas captions for Instagram that says sweet and twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Hot chocolate weather

All I want for Christmas is…food!

The snuggle is real

Christmas calories don’t count!

Besides the tree, guess who’s going to get lit all day?

December 25th is the only day I become a morning person

All my savings just disappeared! Is this what they meant by Christmas wonder?

I put the “ho” in “ho, ho, ho!”

Today, I will sleigh Christmas!

Leading up to the worst night’s sleep all year

Making it count because Christmas only comes once a year

I smell presents!

For your present, it’s either a warm hug or a snug choke-hold. Choose wisely!

But first, let me take an elfie.

Have I been naughty this year? Well, I hope one of the reindeer eats the “naughty” list

Ho-ho-home for Christmas!

Christmas decorations on a table with clever Christmas captions

My spirit animal is Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

You better not pout

I’ve decided to give everyone my opinion instead of presents this year. Be excited!

It is socially acceptable to let my siblings wear the same PJ’s as me tonight

Dear Santa: This isn’t what it looks like

Feelin’ frosty

Son of a nutcracker!

Ho, ho, ho? More like ha, ha, ha!

Here’s my resting Grinch face

If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Short Christmas Captions, Christmas Tree Captions, Christmas Tree Quotes and Family Christmas Quotes.

Funny Christmas Instagram Captions

You know it’s Christmas when your wallet is empty but your heart is full

Christmas cheer? I thought I heard Christmas beer.

My fat pants are ready

Dear big, fat, judgmental jerk, I just want to tell you that I’ve been naughty this year and it was all worth it!

My presence is really the only gift you need. Merry Christmas!

All spruced up and ready to jingle the night away

Christmas decorations and sassy Christmas captions that says all spruced up and ready to jingle the night away

Getting more lit than the Christmas tree

Bah, humbug!

You can find us under the mistletoe

All I want for Christmas is you… and cookies… and hot chocolate

Rockin’ each other’s Christmas socks

What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe

Hope you enjoy this “elfie” from us

Wrapped presents from above and funny Christmas captions for couples

No lying… We’ve been more naughty than nice!

If kisses were snowflakes, we’d be having a blizzard!

We go together like hot chocolate and marshmallows

This one had me at “ho ho ho”!

Merry Christmas! Now, excuse us while we head back to the mistletoe

Short Witty Christmas Captions

Your presents is requested

Shake it like a pole-oriod picture

A mistle-toast to the holiday season

Mistletoe and a bow with funny Christmas puns that says a mistle-toast to the holiday season

But wait—there’s myrrh

Sleigh my name, sleigh my name

I love you from head to mistletoe

It’s the most wine-derful time of the year

Oh, deer

Yule be sorry

The Christmas alphabet has noel

All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies

Hold on for deer life

Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental

Sugar and spice make the holidays nice

’Tis the season to sparkle and shine

Happy Holi-yays!

Christmas wreath on a door with a funny Holidays captions that says happy holi-days

My holiday weight gain is in no way an indication of increased jolliness

‘Tis the season to be freezin’

Happy Holidays! Let the bingeing begin!

‘Tis the season to sparkle

I like Santa Claus because he only visits once a year. Every guest should follow his example

Be naughty, save Santa the trip

I want a fat bank account and a slim waist for Christmas this year. You better not mix those two up, Santa!

It’s a good thing Santa didn’t see my browser history

It’s all fun and games ’till Santa checks the naughty list

Two pine cones with funny santa hats and Santa Captions

Santa, stop here. We have cookies.

I feel better knowing Santa will also be unemployed after Christmas

Funny Christmas Decorating Captions

The weather outside is frightful, but my Christmas tree is so delightful

This tree is feelin’ merry and bright

Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle

My tree is set to sparkle

Decorating the tree is always snow much fun

Tinsel hair. Don’t care.

This tree is going to sleigh all day

Never underestimate my ability to buy a bigger Christmas tree

Tree with presents under and a funny Christmas tree captions

My favorite color is evergreen with a hint of tinsel

The only time of year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks

Rockin’ around the Christmas tree!

Christmas tree o’ Christmas tree, your ornaments are history

It’s looking like a Charlie Brown tree kinda year

You, me and the perfect Christmas tree

Christmas tree with lights and a love Christmas tree caption

Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family that I’m a gift

Break out the ornaments and let the decorating begin

Coffee. Christmas music. Now let’s decorate!

Why can’t the Christmas trees knit? Because they always drop their needles!

My favorite smell is Christmas tree

Close up of tree and decorations and Christmas tree captions the says my favorite smell is Christmas tree

Keep calm and decorate on

Who wants CANDY CANES?!!!

Cue the twinkly lights

Dream big, sparkle more, shine bright

My favourite color is Christmas lights

Fairy lights on Christmas night

Close up of Christmas tree with Christmas lights captions

Leave a little sparkle wherever you go

When in doubt, add more sparkle

Christmas is too sparkly… said no one ever

Like the Christmas lights, let’s get lit!

Decking the halls in sparkles

It’s a hot chocolate and tree decorating kind of day

We’ve got chemis-tree

Funny Christmas Card Captions

It’s the most wine-derful time of the year

Have a cool yule and swell noel

I hope you love the present you told me to buy for you

Christmas comes but once a year, but when it comes, it better bring good beer

Santa ho ho hopes you’ve been good this year

Santa and sleigh in sky with funny Christmas card captions

All I want for Christmas is see the link to my wish list

Time to get into the Christmas spirit – vodka, gin, rum, etc.

Santa saw your Instagram. You’re getting a muumuu and a Bible for Christmas

Christmas is Claus for celebration!

May your holidays be as lovely as they look on Instagram

May your gifts be many, and your returns and exchanges be few

White tree decoration with cute Merry Christmas captions on top

I put so much thought into your gift, that I never got around to actually buying it. Merry Christmas, anyway!

Let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me … What is this, and did you keep the receipt?

May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love, and your life with absolutely everything you put on your wish list

Enjoy this Christmas till you find your name in Santa’s naughty list. May you have a great holiday!

Blue ornaments with a funny Christmas wishes on top

Hope you have a remember-forever-and-ever-and-ever-and-ever kind of holiday

A Christmas Conspiracy: Olive, the other reindeer…

Yoda caroling: A Merry Christmas, we wish you. A Merry Christmas, we wish you

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas

I hope you’re less like Santa, and visit me more than once a year

Short Funny Christmas Quotes for Instagram

“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan

Pine needles with a bow around them and a funny short Christmas quotes by Gary Allan

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz

“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

“My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” – Melanie White

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson

“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.” – Winston Spear

“The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!” – Charles N Barnard

“Christmas tree stands are the work of the devil and they want you dead.” – Bill Bryson

Decorated tree with a funny Christmas tree quotes by Bill Bryson

“I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.” – Bridger Winegar

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor

“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” – Henny Youngman

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Will Ferrell, “Elf”

“Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.” – Andy Borowitz

Wrapped [resents and decorations with funny short Christmas quotes by Any Borowitz

“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” – Kin Hubbard

“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?” – Matt Groening

“It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.” – Anon

“Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.” – Catherine Tate

“Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time I hear Christmas music.” – Tom Sims

Closeup of tree and ornaments with funny Christmas quotes by Tom Sims

“You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” – Robert Paul

“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.” – Frank McKinney Hubbard

Hope you found the perfect funny captions for your next Instagram post or Christmas photo.

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Christmas decorations
Woman holding up a clear chunk of ice on the beach

About the Author

Laynni Locke

I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.

And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.

With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.

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