Halloween is a good time for all ages and there is always plenty of humor involved, which is why we have put together a list of all the best funny Halloween sayings for your next post. And if you’re looking for short funny Halloween quotes for Instagram, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Funny Halloween Sayings
Witching you a Happy Halloween.
How do ghosts score touchdowns? They get the ball across the ghoul-line.
Ahead of the carve
There aren’t any skeletons in my closet, but I do have some in my trunk
Hot ghoul Halloween
Shake your BOOty
Have a fang-tastic night!
I’m bat to the bone.
Fright Night
This is my resting witch face
My horror-scope predicts that this Halloween will be pretty spooky.
These costumes are scary good.
There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight.
This witch likes wine
Looking fur-ocious
Creepin’ it real
Can you tell me witch way to the pumpkin patch?
I know how to drive a stick.
You make me batty
Don’t make me drop a house on you
No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!
If you didn’t get tricked, was it even Halloween?
Basic witch
Catch me carving out a little fall fun
Wicked awesome.
Sweet like candy
Trick or tequila
Why don’t mummies gossip? They don’t want to get a bad wrap.
Will you be my ghoul friend?
What’s the best way to speak to a giant mummy? Use big words.
What do weight-conscious vampires drink? Blood light.
Witch-tastic times ahead.
Just a broom and a little perfume
I’ve got tricks and treats up my sleeve.
Favorite math joke? Easy: pumpkin pi.
Have a wicked good Halloween.
You know what they say: If the broom fits!
Boo-in it for the ‘gram
You en-witch my life.
I don’t celebrate Halloween, I am Halloween
It’s a brew-tiful day for eating tons of candy.
Starbursting to eat all this candy
Looking pawsitively bootiful
A cat’s favorite candy is a Kit Kat.
Witch upon a star.
Fangs for the memories
What do you call an overweight pumpkin? A plump-kin.
I have one thing to say about this candy: Bone appétit!
A wee bit wicked
Wishing you a Halloween filled with tricks and treats.
Why did the werewolf eat a bag of coins? He thought the change would do him good.
If you’re looking for a scare, then come fright this way!
A real witch is nothing without her ghoulfriends
Witch better have my candy.
Witching you a Happy Halloween!
May chills run down your spine this Halloween.
Trick or treat, bag of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street.
Witch parking. All others will be toad.
What did the werewolf say when he broke his toe? “Ow-oooooh!”
Halloween night Pop Rocks my world
Something wicked this way comes
Bake it in the coven.
It’s all treats or all pumpkin. No in-between.
A ghost unlocks a door with a spoo-key.
Too cute to spook
Drop dead gorgeous
You’re sweeter than all the candy that I’ll receive this year.
Got a bone to pick with every skeleton at this party.
Bewitch you were here!
This is the one time a year I could truly be myself
Halloween’s not the same if I can’t be witch you.
I hope you like your coffee with scream and sugar.
What’s the best lake to visit on Halloween? Lake Eerie.
Happy Halloween to my Hallow-queen.
Bat to the bone
Why did the ghost need first aid? He had a boo-boo.
Wrapped up and ready—you’re clearly the mummy of the year.
Hocus Pocus and chill?
Why did the zombie eat brains? He wanted food for thought.
During the day, I don’t believe in ghosts. At night, I’m a little more open-minded.
The Halloween candy is spook-tacular.
I’m witcher than you.
World’s okayest pumpkin carver
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… and spiders.
Looking brew-tiful tonight!
Only bad witches can drive stick
Have a humerus Halloween
Take heed, ’tis the season for eerie indeed!
I hope you find this humerus
Witch, please
May your jack-o’-lantern burn bright all through the night!
Witching you lots of love!
I can’t help it… it’s in my blood.
Who wants to join my fang club?
What’s a black cat’s favorite song? “Three Blind Mice.”
Pretty sure Gourd of the Rings deserves an Oscar.
Be witched!
What’s up, my witches?
Every angel has a devilish side
Bad and boo-jee
No bones about it!
I’ve got a ghost problem — everyone sees right through me.
Witch better have my candy
Let’s carve out some fun
I will gourd this candy with my life!
New face, who ‘dis?
child holding a halloween pumpkin over their face
This letter is sealed with a vampire bite.
You’re the treat to my trick
Let’s make a witch-tastic team!
Ghosting is my superpower, deal with it.
Halloween’s the one day you’re supposed to come as you aren’t.
The dead rise again, bats fly, terror strikes and screams echo, for tonight it’s Halloween.
Halloween is going to be great—I can feel it in my bones!
Did you say treat?
I did some exorcise to prepare for all this candy
Just out here creepin’ it real, as usual.
Let’s bone
Can’t hide it, I love pumpkin spice a whole latte.
What do ghosts like to watch on TV? Saturday Fright Live.
Witch and ghost make merry on this last of dear October days.
I wave my wand and put on my cape and wish you lots of treats on this date.
Have yourself the happiest of Hollow-weens!
Come Halloween, it’s Crunch time.
They say it was love at first bite—fangs and all.
This Halloween is going to be absolutely fang-tastic!
I’m only human, I’ve got a skeleton in me
What kind of shoes do ghosts wear in the winter? Boo-ts.
girl dressed as witch, holding pumpkin and broom, portrait
I’m a haunt mess
What do bats do in their free time? Hang out.
Straight outta coffin
Beware of the werecat.
Keep calm and carry a wand.
Witch and famous.
Don’t make me get the flying monkeys
Wishing you a spook-tacular night full of chills and thrills.
It’s time to monster mash!
Carving out fun
#SquadGhouls
It’s witchful thinking.
Why don’t witches like winter? Too many cold spells.
Why don’t vampires play baseball? Their bats keep flying away.
Hocus pocus, I need coffee to focus
Had a spooktacular night!
Why was the witch late for work? She over-swept.
I’m the ghostest with the mostest
The ghosts really brought the boo-ty this year.
Fangs for the memories.
I put a spell on you
More boos, please
Ghouls just wanna have fun
Just know that zom-body is thinking of you this Halloween.
Lookin’ gourd-geous!
Ghosts have a lot of spirit – literally.
Don’t forget to do your hair with scare spray on Halloween.
Halloween makes me so (candy) corny
Psst…This isn’t a costume
Getting kissed by a vampire is a pain in the neck.
It’s time to get this party startled!
Double, double toil and trouble!
What do you call a monster who likes to dance? A boogie man.
You say witch like it’s a bad thing
I can’t Reese-ist a good Halloween pun
Everything I brew, I brew for you.
My costume is eerie-sistible
Why did the skeleton go to the butcher? He was looking for spare ribs.
Here’s to a Halloween that’s so fun, it’s scary!
Brrr… it’s cold in here. There must be some spirits in the atmosphere!
I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Catch me on the dark side
If the broom fits, fly it
What do you call a werewolf with a fever? A hog dog.
A ghost comedian is dead funny.
You don’t know jack-o’-lantern.
Keep calm and cartilage on
Why are mummies always stressed out? They can’t unwind.
It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus
I’m ahead of the carve
My costume really hit the gourd spot.
How are zombie boats operated? With skeleton crews.
100 percent that witch
You’re in ghoul company
Eat, drink, and be scary
Trick or treat, motherpupper
Oh my gourd, Halloween is finally here.
Wishing you a fang-tastic Howl-oween!
Let’s carve out some fun this October!
Putting the ‘boo’ in booty
You’re going to Snicker after hearing all of my Halloween puns.
I’ll be-witcha in a second!
You better work, witch
So pumped for Halloween I could burst like an overripe gourd.
Fangs for the memories
#HotGhoulFall
Frankenstein skips the dance floor with his two left feet.
Spell-abrate good times!
You can always count on a vampire to go for the blood orange.
A nightmare before coffee
Creepin’ it real!
We’re having a howling good time!
Keep calm and carry a wand
Having a howling good time!
Happy Hallo-weenie!
Cracked jack-o’-lantern? No problem, there’s always a pumpkin patch.
Happy Halloween! We’re back and better. (From the dead.)
You’ve got me under your spell.
It’s going tibia okay!
I’m just dying to have some fun!
What do you call an enlightened werewolf? An aware-wolf.
Killin’ it
Giving my spookiest boo to you and yours this Halloween.
Witch out for me!
Howl you doin’?
Why did the ghost blow its nose? It had boo-gers.
Happy Halloween from the cutest pumpkin in the patch.
If the broom fits, fly it
Straight Outta Salem
It’s the most frightful time of the fear.
Why can’t you trust vampires? Because they’re bat to the bone.
I won’t let you slip through my Butter Fingers
bowl of candy corn
Your costume is so realistic that it’s un-candy!
Hope your Halloween is full of Snickers and (Almond) Joy!
99 problems but a witch ain’t one
Carving out quality time for spooky season.
You know what I like to say: bugs and hisses.
Let’s get spooky
Happy Hollow-ween!
All my best ghoulfriends are total witches
Don’t forget your spoo-key—this house doesn’t unlock itself.
Your costume? Couldn’t scare less.
This is where the magic happens
A cutie that’s a little spooky.
I’ve been there, done bat.
Beware of Resting Witch Face.
Happy Hallo-weenie!
Grab your broomstick so we can make a clean getaway.
Eat, drink & be scary
Feeling batty!
Why did the invisible man quit his job? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
What’s a monster’s favorite game? Hide-and-go-shriek.
A group of ghosts is called a boo-crew.
I will protect this candy with all my gourd.
Can I witch a ride? My broomstick broke.
Forever your Zom-bae
You know what they say: Keep calm, trick-or-treat and carry on.
Angel by day. Devil by night
Twix or treat!
Hey, boo-tiful
Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but Halloween.
Witches get stitches.
I’m just a mere ghost of my former self.
What do you call a lost wolf? A where-wolf.
Don’t go goblin up all my candy
This will definitely come in candy.
A little pumpkin told me it’s your first Halloween. Boo!
This witch can be bribed with chocolate
Where my ghouls at?
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless
Orange you glad you dressed up for Halloween?
This is my magic happy potion
BYOBoos
Hocus pocus and chill?
It’s time to have some skele-fun
Skeletons don’t have the guts to dress up for Halloween.
Waaay ahead of the carve!
Witch-ful thinking got me here.
No more treats? This is unBOOlievable
How do bats know how to fly? They just wing it.
I’m here for the boos
Get in, loser. We’re going haunting.
I’m not playing Twix when I say I love this holiday.
Feeling witchy.
Hey, boo, let’s get sheet-faced
Why did the skeleton quit his job? His heart wasn’t in it.
Here I am, warts and all.
I’m all tricks, no treats.
Hallow Howl-o-ween!
When the witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers ’tis near Halloween.
With the boo crew
Who won the skeleton 5K? No body.
Why do witches like hotels? They get broom service.
Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner? He was already stuffed.
My costume is absolutely eerie-sistible.
This soup tastes witch-licious!
Not every witch lives in Salem
Not going to eat candy? That’s witchful thinking.
I’m a witch every day. Not just for Halloween.
Can’t always get what you wand.
Here’s hoping all your Halloween fears come true.
Mischief managed
Hope your Halloween is hex-tra special this year.
Bite me
Just checked my horror-scope—looks like a killer night ahead.
With the boo crew
If you’ve got it, haunt it
Time to get this party startled!
Still searching for a boo who’s my blood type.
What day of the week do ghosts like best? Moan-day.
Howl’s it hanging this Halloween?
Witcha up to?
You’re my fiend for life.
Bugs and hisses, witches!
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Short Halloween Letter Board Quotes, Happy Halloween Greetings and Pumpkin Patch Captions.
Short Funny Halloween Quotes
“I went trick-or-treating and all I got was a bag full of rocks.” — Charlie Brown
“I’m wicked through and through.” – Elphaba, Wicked
“Sticky fingers, tired feet; one last house, trick or treat!” – Rusty Fischer
“Never trust the living.” – Beetlejuice
“You ever feel prickly things on the back of your neck? — Cole Sear, “The Sixth Sense”
“Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.” – Mason Cooley
“Be afraid, be very afraid.” – Ronnie, The Fly
“Once upon a time, there was a girl and the girl had a shadow.” — Red, “Us”
“Have you come to sing pumpkin carols?” – Linus, It’s the Great Pumpkin
“You’re afraid right now, aren’t ya?” — Indrid Cold, “The Mothman Prophecies”
“If you’ve got it, haunt it.” – Rose Pressey
“On Halloween you get to become anything that you want to be.” – Ava Dellaria
“I be the witch of the wood.” — Thomasin, “The Witch”
“I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try.” — Michael Jackson, “Thriller”
“I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.” – Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
“Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” – Steve Almond
“That’s the problem. He was dead to begin with.” – Ichabod Crane, Sleepy Hollow
“A mask tells us more than a face.” – Oscar Wilde, Irish Poet
“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” — Jack Torrance, “The Shining”
“Whatever you do … don’t fall asleep.” — Nancy Thompson, “A Nightmare on Elm Street”
“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” — William Shakespeare, “The Tempest”
“And to think, if it weren’t for you … I never would’ve danced at all.” — Red “Us”
“It’s Halloween. Everyone’s entitled to one good scare.” — Leigh Brackett, “Halloween”
“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” – L.M. Montgomery
“Werewolves howl. Phantoms prowl. Halloween’s upon us now.” – Richelle E. Goodrich
“Where there is no imagination there is no horror.” – Arthur Conan Doyle
“I put a spell on you because you’re mine.”- Jay Hawkins
“The soul remains one, shared by two.” — Red, “Us”
“You are all my children now.” — Freddy Krueger
“We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves!” – Humbert Wolfe
“Well, fancy! We desire children.” – Winifred Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
“It’s Halloween; everyone’s entitled to one good scare.” – Brackett, Halloween
“Every day is Hal”There’s only 365 days left until next Halloween!” – The Nightmare Before Christmas
“The zombies were having fun / The party had just begun.” — Bobby “Boris” Pickett, “Monster Mash”
“It’s alive!” – Frankenstein
“Waiting for an invitation to arrive / Goin’ to a party where no one’s still alive.” — Oingo Boingo,
“Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you.” — Classics IV, “Spooky”
“Don’t hang up on me.” — Ghostface, “Scream”
“There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask.” – Collette
“Round about the cauldron go; In the poison’d entrails throw.” — William Shakespeare, “Macbeth”
“It reeks of children!” – Mary Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
“What an excellent day for an exorcism.” — Demon, “The Exorcist”
“The boy. Is he dead, too?” — Alice Hardy, “Friday the 13th”
“Where my ghouls at?” – Monster Highloween, isn’t it? For some of us.” – Tim Burton
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” — Billy Loomis, “Scream”
“You’re going to Camp Blood, ain’t ya? — Crazy Ralph, “Friday the 13th”
“Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.” – Edgar Allan Poe
“I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.” – Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
So that is it for our list of Funny Halloween Sayings. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.