Nothing spices up your Christmas posts like a little wordplay, so we have put together a list of all the best Christmas puns for your next share. And if you’re looking for short Christmas jokes for a laugh around the dinner table, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Christmas Puns
The kids are on pines and needles waiting for Santa’s gifts to arrive under the tree.
Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
Your presents is requested.
I’m pine-ing for you this Christmas.
Are you oakay? Yes, I’m pine!
Resting Grinch face.
All the jingle ladies.
Here comes Santa claws, here comes Santa claws.
Jingle bells, Zinfandel, need more cabernet
“Happy holly-days,” said the wreath to the garland.
A blanket of snow: the holiday gift no one wants.
Santa claus holding cell phonepinterest
Eat, drink, and be meowy
But wait—there’s myrrh.
Let’s raise a glass and make a mistle-toast to the holiday season.
Home sleet home.
I love you a whole watt.
I told you snow.
Don’t forget to make Santa-witches for the guests.
You snow the drill.
He came, he thawed, he conquered.
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Let there be peas on earth.
I have no ideer how’s it’s Christmas already.
Snow pain, snow gain.
Good things come to those who bake.
Say it to my face. I deer you.
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
Hope your holidays are tree-mendous this year.
The holidays have me feeling a little Santa-mental.
Oh, deer.
Sleigh, queen, sleigh.
Yule never guess who’s coming? It’s Santa!
Let’s get blitzened!
Have a tree-mendous Christmas!
Can I get a watt watt?
Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.
Feliz navi-dog!
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
Up to snow good.
Santa cleans his sleigh with Santa-tizer.
Time for some festivi-tea.
Santa paws is comin’ to town. — Unknown
May your Christmas be furry and bright
I like ’em real thick and sprucy.
Can we get a round of Santa-plause for this dress?
Just in the St. Nick of time.
All I want for Christmas is ewe.
Fir real…have a merry Christmas.
I’d like a round of reinbeers.
Birch, pul-eez.
Hold on for deer life.
Wake me up before you cocoa.
Snow time like the present.
Say it ain’t snow.
Believe in your elf.
Happy holly-days!
Season’s eatings.
I know when those sleigh bells ring. That can only mean one thing.
Check your elf, before you wreck your elf.
What the elf.
Santa bae bae. — Unknown
It’s lit.
Don’t be elfish.
These decorations are tree-mendous.
It’s Christmas-thyme in the city.
The Ghost of Christmas Presents is my favorite Christmas ghost.
You’re my soul Santa.
Prancer’s motto: Prance like nobody’s watching.
She has high elf-esteem.
This is snow laughing matter!
Peppermint, or-na-ment? she asked when contemplating hanging candy canes on tree.
Catty Canes.
I doen’t give a buck.
I’m quite fawned of you, my deer.
How do trees count? One, two, tree.
My gingerbread man is one tough cookie.
Don’t even snow there!
To coldly go where no snowman has gone before.
Christmas puns sleigh me.
It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
But first, let me and my gingerbread men take a selfie.
Claus I’ve been good this year.
Christmas trees wear skirts so you won’t cedar roots.
No need to Claus a scene!
Yule be sorry.
Gin-gle bells
The snuggle is real.
There’s no business like snow business.
Snow on and snow forth.
It’s high time to spruce things up.
It’s snow joke.
Dachshund through the snow.
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.
All you needle is love.
How rude-olf of you.
You’re sleigh-in’ it.
Yes, I do consider myself a Christmas tree hugger.
Sleigh, what?!
“Santa has a sleigh-over before he gets here.
It takes one to snow one.
Snow rest for the wicked.
Chillin’ with my snowmies.
We’re orna-meant to be
Scrooge that!
Santaquatch.
Good things come in tall packages.
Rebel without a Claus.
Since it’s Christmas, I found it most appropriate for me to be taking Santa stage this year…
That look soots you.
You sleigh me.
Snow be it.
Hoppy Holidays
But first, let me take an elfie.
I’m a rebel without a Claus.
Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
I’ve got high elf-esteem.
Prosecc-Ho-ho-ho!
Happy Howl-idays!
I’ll never fir-get.
You bake life better.
Fir sure.
I’m pine-ing for you.
How’d you finish Christmas shopping so fast? I used the elf-checkout lane.
Snow thank you.
I’m feelin’ pine.
Have a holly Dolly Christmas.
Love at frost sight!
Introducing: Santa Claws.
I only have ice for you.
Make it rein.
It’s ice to meet you.
Sleigh my name. Sleigh my name.
I love you deerly.
Icy what you did there.
Lighten up, it’s Christmas!
Bah Hum-pug
You need to branch out.
Sink your claus into these treats.
Another day, another sleigh.
Let’s get elf-ed up.
Gangsta wrapper.
There’s no gift like the present.
It’s a wonder-yule life.
Un-fir-gettable, that’s what you are.
A round of Santa-plause, please.
I have the final sleigh.
Time to spruce things up.
I love you from head to mistletoe.
Someone call Santa Claus, I’m about to sleigh this workout.
How do trees flirt? They talk about chemis-tree.
Best in snow.
I need my hand-santa-tizer.
Let’s take an elfie.
Sleigh queen, sleigh.
Ready, set, glow.
We have great chemis-tree.
You wood not believe my Christmas tree is artificial.
Don’t get all sappy on me, said the Christmas tree farmer.
Daschund through the snow!
Don’t get caught elvesdropping on Santa!
Santa’s little yelper
Watt a gorgeous Christmas tree.
I’m snow bored.
I’m Claus-trophobic.
Funny Christmas puns
Introducing: Santa Paws.
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies!
You don’t want to get caught elvesdropping on Santa!
Birch, please.
Wrapper’s delight.
We woof you a Merry Christmas
Treat yo’elf.
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
Frosty the Snowman’s personal affairs are snow-body’s business.
Go outside for Christmas? Snow thanks.
Get the elf out of here
You were heaven-santa
Season’s greetings, said the rosemary to the sage.
Having a case of Claus-trophobia while waiting for the man in red.
As it snow happens.
Claus I said so!
The holidays make me feel extra Santa-mental.
This tree is officially lit AF.
At the gumdrop of a hat.
You go, Glen Cocoa.
Santa jaws.
Sleigh’in it.
Meowy Christmas and a Happy New Year.
I’m elf-taught.
Yule be fit to be tide when you find out you aren’t getting any presents.
Someone’s up to snow good.
Santa puts you on the naughty list if he has just claus.
Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.
He’s an elf-made man.
A mistle-toast to the holiday season.
The Christmas alphabet has noel.
Don’t worry, ski happy.
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Christmas Card Wishes for Friends, Christmas Card Wishes for Family, Funny Birthday Puns, Merry Christmas Greetings and Christmas Sayings.
Christmas Jokes
Who delivers presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws.
Where do mistletoes go to get famous? Holly-wood.
Who delivers presents to cats at Christmas? Santa Claws.
Which of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves? Dancer.
What do you get when you come across a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple.
What do you call the elf who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? Ribbon Hood.
What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song? “Sniffin’ Around the Christmas Tree.”
How do sheep say, “Merry Christmas”? Fleece Navidad.
What are parents’ favorite Christmas song? “Silent Night.”
Why was the snowman looking at a bag of carrots? He’s picking his nose.
What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas treat? Candy canines.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosties.
What type of car do Santa’s elves drive? Minivans.
What do dogs do at Christmas parties? They whine and dine.
Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They keep dropping their needles.
What do cats listen to during the holidays? Christmas mew-sic.
What is a cat’s favorite Christmas candy? Catt-y canes.
How do cats say “Merry Christmas”? “Meow-ry Christmas!”
What language does Santa speak? North Polish.
Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt.
Why did the snowman get arrested? They were up to snow good.
What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? “Let’s hang out.”
What happens to Christmas gifts when they die? They become the ghost of Christmas presents.
What did the wise men say after giving gifts of gold and frankincense? “Oh, wait! There’s myrrh!”
What do road crews use at the North Pole? Snow cones.
Why is it so cold at Christmas? Because it’s Decembrrrrr.
What did the life coach say to the stressed out elf? “You need to treat your elf.”
Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.
Where does Santa keep all his money? At the Snow Bank.
What did the gingerbread man say to the sad fruitcake? “What’s eating you?”
What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
How did Scrooge win the soccer game? The Ghost of Christmas passed.
Why do reindeer love Beyoncé? Because she sleighs.
How do dogs celebrate Christmas? By throwing a Christmas paw-ty.
What do you call a snowman who’s always at the gym? An abdominal snowman.
Why does Santa hate getting stuck in a chimney? Because he has clause-trophobia.
What kind of motorbike does Santa drive? A Holly Davidson.
What do you call a snowman party? A Snow Ball.
Why is everyone at the North Pole thirsty? There’s no well.
Why did the cats hate their presents? They gifts weren’t up to scratch.
What do reindeers use to decorate their antlers? Hornaments.
Who is the elf’s favorite rock start? Elf-is Presley.
What song and dance does Beyoncé like to perform at Christmas? “All the Jingle Ladies.”
What do elves learn at school? The elfa-bet.
How does the snow globe feel at Christmas? A little shaken.
What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes, “Ribbet, ribbet”? A mistle-toad.
How long should a reindeer’s legs be? Long enough to reach the ground.
Why do mummies love Christmas? There’s so much wrapping.
What do you call a Christmas gift for a cat? A purr-esent.
What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmas? Sandy Claws.
What kind of music do elves like? Wrap music.
What do you get when you eat all the Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.
What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire together? Frostbite.
What is Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.
What did the reindeers say to Santa after he fell off the sleigh? “Hold on for deer life!”
What do you call a reindeer ghost? A carib-boo.
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
How do you know when Santa is around? You can sense his presents.
Which list do children who don’t know how to tie their shoes end up in? The knotty list.
Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey because it’s always stuffed.
What is a fruit’s favorite Christmas song? “We Wish You A Berry Christmas.”
What’s the difference between the regular alphabet and the Christmas alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Why did Santa get a ticket? He left his sleigh on a snow parking zone.
Who delivers presents to dogs at Christmas? Santa Paws.
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
How do fairy tale books for reindeer end? “And they lived happily ever antler.”
What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Get out of my face!”
Why did the cat give everyone gag gifts? They were kitten around.
Why did the two snowmen start dating as soon as they met? Because it was love at frost sight.
So that is it for our list of Christmas Puns and Jokes. We hope you found the perfect one!
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.