Christmas is a great time to be around family and friends enjoying kinship and laughter, which is why we have put together a list of all the best funny Christmas sayings for you to share. And if you’re looking for short funny Christmas quotes, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Funny Christmas Sayings
It’s a hot chocolate and tree decorating kind of day
When it snows you have two choices. Shovel or snow angels.
The snuggle is real
A round of Santa-plause, please.
If kisses were snowflakes, we’d be having a blizzard!
Dear big, fat, judgmental jerk, I just want to tell you that I’ve been naughty this year and it was all worth it!
100% on the naughty list
What’s green, covered in tinsel and says ‘ribbet ribbet’? A mistle-toad.
Get the elf out of here.
It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas
You’re sleigh-in’ it.
Chillin’ with my mug and blanket just like Baby Yoda
May your regifting practice go undetected this year
Good things come in tall packages.
Besides the tree, guess who’s going to get lit all day?
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases
Wake me up before you cocoa.
That look soots you.
Your presents is requested.
Santa ho ho hopes you’ve been good this year
Rockin’ around the Christmas tree!
Christmas break to-do list: Eat, drink, nap
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
Yule be fit to be tied when you find out you aren’t getting any presents.
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red
Dear Santa…can you please define “nice?”
’Tis the season to sparkle and shine
Christmas Eve is the one night I’m looking forward to morning
Treat yo’elf.
Dream big, sparkle more, shine bright
Why can’t the Christmas trees knit? Because they always drop their needles!
Believe in your elf.
He’s an elf-made man.
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
It’s freezing—snow joke!
My presence is really the only gift you need. Merry Christmas!
Tinsel hair. Don’t care.
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Hornaments.
Hope you enjoy this “elfie” from us
Keep calm and snow day on!
It’s snow laughing matter
What do snowmen wear to work? Snowsuits.
Winter is like fall except you need five pairs of leggings instead of one
A mistle-toast to the holiday season
The battle between me and carbs is the real war this Christmas
A mistle-toast to the holiday season.
When life gives you snow, make snow angels
Sweet and twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?
Watch your step – it could be your last
Did you hear that Santa knows karate? He has a black belt.
Every day I’m shovelin’
Step right up, jingle file!
Hold on for deer life
Hold on for deer life.
It’s lit.
I feel better knowing Santa will also be unemployed after Christmas
Don’t get caught elvesdropping on Santa!
Santa saw your Instagram. You’re getting a muumuu and a Bible for Christmas
Let it snow… somewhere else!
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies
Coffee. Christmas music. Now let’s decorate!
Christmas is always a Claus for celebration.
Break out the ornaments and let the decorating begin
Why was E the only letter of the alphabet to get presents from Santa? Because all of the other letters were not E.
Wake me up when it’s summer
Leave a little sparkle wherever you go
Snow glad to see you!
I like Santa Claus because he only visits once a year. Every guest should follow his example
‘Tis the season to be freezin’
What is Santa’s favorite genre of music? Wrap music!
Snow happens, hot chocolate helps
“Peppermint, or-na-ment?” she asked when contemplating hanging candy canes on tree.
Season’s greetings, said the rosemary to the sage.
May your holidays be as lovely as they look on Instagram
I hope you love the present you told me to buy for you
What is Father Christmas’ wife’s name? Mary Christmas.
Ho-ho-home for Christmas!
‘Tis the season to sparkle
Why did the snowman go to the garden? To pick his nose.
Let’s get elf-ed up.
You sleigh me.
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year
Frozen fingers and eskimo kisses
Why did the pony miss singing in the choir at the Christmas concert? It was a little horse.
The snuggle is real.
Oh, deer
Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle
Looking a lot like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Believe in your elf
Don’t be elfish.
It’s colder than my soul out here!
Christmas calories don’t count!
Prancer’s motto: Prance like nobody’s watching.
It was love at frost sight
Christmas tree o’ Christmas tree, your ornaments are history
What do you call a poor Santa Claus? St. Nickel-less.
Being good for goodness’ sake was not enough motivation
A Christmas Conspiracy: Olive, the other reindeer…
Snow excited!
Drink up, Grinches! It’s Christmas
You had me at ho ho ho
Help! There’s snow way out of here
The reason why we should always jingle all the way is because nobody likes half-assed jingles
Snowy hair, don’t care. It’s Christmas!
This tree is going to sleigh all day
I hope you’re less like Santa, and visit me more than once a year
I love you from head to mistletoe
I put the “ho” in “ho, ho, ho!”
Fairy lights on winter nights
But wait—there’s myrrh.
Snowy hair don’t care
My favorite color is evergreen with a hint of tinsel
My fat pants are ready
Keep calm and decorate on
I’m elf-taught.
It’s a good thing Santa didn’t see my browser history
My holiday weight gain is in no way an indication of increased jolliness
All I want for Christmas is you (and maybe some Christmas cookies, too)
What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
Rebel without a Claus.
Say freeze!
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Krisp Kringle.
Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing? They keep dropping their needles.
For your present, it’s either a warm hug or a snug choke-hold. Choose wisely!
My tree is set to sparkle
Hot chocolate weather
I put so much thought into your gift, that I never got around to actually buying it. Merry Christmas, anyway!
Resting Grinch face.
Friends are the hot chocolate in winter season
Like the Christmas lights, let’s get lit!
You are never too old for a snowball fight
Christmas is too sparkly… said no one ever
Dear Santa…I can explain
You’re mistletoe-tally rad.
Yule be sorry.
Be naughty, save Santa the trip
Decking the halls in sparkles
How much does Santa pay for parking? Nothing, it’s on the house.
Time to get into the Christmas spirit – vodka, gin, rum, etc.
Yule be sorry
You’re my soul Santa.
This one had me at “ho ho ho”!
I’m Claus-trophobic.
Decorating the tree is always snow much fun
But first, let me take an elfie.
Santa, stop here. We have cookies.
It is socially acceptable to let my siblings wear the same PJ’s as me tonight
Where does Santa stay during vacations? At the ho-ho-hotel.
Sleigh all day
There’s Noel time like the present.
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.
It’s looking like a Charlie Brown tree kinda year
What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles.
Ho, ho, ho? More like ha, ha, ha!
What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather? Is it going to rain, dear?
Dear Santa: This isn’t what it looks like
I love you from head to mistletoe.
May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love, and your life with absolutely everything you put on your wish list
How did Rudolph do on his report card? He went up in Math and down in History.
Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho ho ho.
Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental
I see snow… so, where’s Elsa?
What nationality is Santa? North Polish.
Christmas cheer? I thought I heard Christmas beer.
Ooooooh. We thought you said, “Christmas BEER.”
Yoda caroling: A Merry Christmas, we wish you. A Merry Christmas, we wish you
We’ve got chemis-tree
Happy Holi-yays!
The Ghost of Christmas Presents is my favorite Christmas ghost.
You can find us under the mistletoe
Leading up to the worst night’s sleep all year
Making it count because Christmas only comes once a year
What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho.
What kind of bug hates Christmas? A bah humbug.
But wait—there’s myrrh
I have the final sleigh.
Here’s my resting Grinch face
May you get everything you want this year, and myrrh!
Christmas is coming
I’m pine-ing for you.
Santa puts you on the naughty list if he has just claus.
Eat, drink, and be merry
My favourite color is Christmas lights
She has high elf-esteem.
Oh, deer.
All I want for Christmas is…food!
Sleigh queen, sleigh.
We’re just a bunch of candy canes—sweet and slightly twisted
What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe
Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family that I’m a gift
Drink up grinches
I smell presents!
What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
Christmas comes but once a year, but when it comes, it better bring good beer
Love at frost sight!
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me … What is this, and did you keep the receipt?
The Christmas alphabet has noel
Sleigh, what?!
Rockin’ each other’s Christmas socks
You better not pout
Freeze the day
How do Santa’s elves get around the North Pole? They ride icicles.
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name
Let’s go to the kitchen and whisk everyone a merry Christmas
Claus I said so!
Feelin’ frosty
It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
My spirit animal is Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.
May your gifts be many, and your returns and exchanges be few
Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Elf-is Presley.
Getting more lit than the Christmas tree
Hope you have a remember-forever-and-ever-and-ever-and-ever kind of holiday
Merry Christmas! Now, excuse us while we head back to the mistletoe
There’s snowplace like home
Right as rein(deer).
Let it snow…. but not on my hair
Make it rein.
December 25th is the only day I become a morning person
All I want for Christmas is you… and cookies… and hot chocolate
The only time of year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks
Christmas is Claus for celebration!
Why are there only 25 letters in the alphabet at Christmas? Because there’s No-el.
You know it’s Christmas when your wallet is empty but your heart is full
Your presents is requested
Sugar and spice make the holidays nice
I’ve decided to give everyone my opinion instead of presents this year. Be excited!
Cue the twinkly lights
Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
It’s all fun and games ’till Santa checks the naughty list
This tree is feelin’ merry and bright
Bring on the snow day!
Who wants CANDY CANES?!!!
All my savings just disappeared! Is this what they meant by Christmas wonder?
Have I been naughty this year? Well, I hope one of the reindeer eats the “naughty” list
Today, I will sleigh Christmas!
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture
Happy Holidays! Let the bingeing begin!
No need to Claus a scene!
Go out there and earn your hot cocoa
What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backward.
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet.
Have a cool yule and swell noel
Gangsta wrapper.
When in doubt, add more sparkle
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.
Up to snow good
All I want for Christmas is see the link to my wish list
Let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip
Winter is warmer when we are laughing
Apologizing in advance for the things I say this winter
No lying… We’ve been more naughty than nice!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
It’s beginning to *cost* a lot like Christmas…
Happy holly-days, said the wreath to the garland.
What do you call a snowman who works out? An ab-dominal snowman.
Wrapper’s delight.
Son of a nutcracker!
Have a holly Dolly Christmas.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic.
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that make snow angels
I want a fat bank account and a slim waist for Christmas this year. You better not mix those two up, Santa!
Santa cleans his sleigh with Santa-tizer.
How rude-olf of you.
We go together like hot chocolate and marshmallows
Ice to see you!
Never underestimate my ability to buy a bigger Christmas tree
What do elves post on social media? Elf-ies.
Bah, humbug!
All spruced up and ready the jingle the night away
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Short Merry Christmas Messages for Cards, Funny Christmas Letter Board Quotes, Merry Christmas Selfie Captions, Short Christmas Sayings for Cards and Christmas Eve Quotes.
Short Funny Christmas Quotes
“Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.” – Catherine Tate
“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.” – Frank McKinney Hubbard
“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” – Henny Youngman
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?” – Matt Groening
“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor
“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge
“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.” – Winston Spear
“You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” – Robert Paul
“My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” – Melanie White
“The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!” – Charles N Barnard
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” – Kin Hubbard
“It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.” – Anon
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Will Ferrell, “Elf”
“I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.” – Bridger Winegar
So that is it for our list of Funny Christmas Sayings and Quotes. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.