It may be the most romantic day of the year but that doesn’t mean it has to be all sappy and loving, so we have put together a list of all the best funny Happy Valentine’s Day messages for you to share. And if you’re looking for funny Happy Valentine’s Day quotes, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Funny Happy Valentine’s Day messages
Be my Valentine for ever and ever? And seal it with a kiss?
There’s no one I’d rather argue with about who forgot to turn off the light.
This may sound corny, but you are a-maize-ing.
Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart.
Yoda best Valentine.
Roses are red, violets are glorious, never surprise Oscar Pistorious.
Wishing you a Valentine’s Day you’ll love! So, candy, candy, candy, candy? Happy Heart Day!
Valentine’s Day is the only day I’ll willingly get all mushy. Well, that and when pizza is involved.
Love you smore – Valentine’s Day Card
Now I know what everyone’s been singing/writing/making movies about.
You’re the reason I look down at my phone and smile – then walk into a pole.
Love is not having to say you’re sorry… until you finish the last piece of chocolate.
You set my heart (and the rest of me) on fire.
Roses are blue, and violets are red, Please reverse what I just said.
You remind me a lot of a keyboard—you’re just my type!
Thanks for making the last [insert number] months so special. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for us!
You shower me with love, Valentine. My favorite weather!
“Love is a grave mental illness.” — Plato
You stole my heart and now you’re under cardiac arrest.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I bought chocolates, but I ate them too.
Roses are red, violets are yellow, I’m hoping this poem will get me a fellow.
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, All my base belongs to you.
You make me feel like the heart eyes emoji.
No one gets me like you do, and that feels like home.
You must be a bowling ball, because you’re right up my alley.
You’re the glaze to my donut, the sweet to my heart! Love you, Valentine!
Roses are red, violets are blue, my year totally sucked until I met you!
You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, the cheese to my macaroni, and the laughter in my heart.
Happy Valentine’s Day to my last first kiss, and last Valentine.
I’d waste my favorite lip gloss on you anytime.
Roses are red violets are blue, I hate poetry but I’m into you.
So glad I put you on my vision board cause look at us now!
Some people make your heart go pitter-patter. You make mine dance! Best. Valentine. Ever.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I bought you chocolate because I ate yours too!
I dig you a hole lot.
Remember when I made you watch Love Island? I was preparing for this moment. Happy Valentine’s Day! You give me fanny flutters.
Love is like a fine wine; it gets better with time, and a little bit of humor makes it bubbly.
You give me butterflies, so I’m giving you this card. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I can’t believe you’re a monkey too.
I love what we’re building together. I can’t wait to see where we are by next Valentine’s Day.
Are you a locksmith? Because you have the key to my heart.
Roses are red, violets are blue, TL;DR, They differ in hue.
I could say a million things but really, I love just us. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Orange you glad we met? Your sweet squeezes weaken my kneeses!
I wish you a beary Happy Valentines… With all my huggy heart!
Pudgy little baby child with a bow and arrow? No one sees that coming.
People think we’re aliens, but it’s just because our love is out of this world.
Roses are red, I hate Miley Cyrus, stay alert, control the virus.
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
You’re the only person I would share my snacks with during a zombie apocalypse.
You’re shrimp-ly the best.
If love is blind, our future together must be incredibly bright!
You quack me up.
We mermaid for each other!
I never thought I’d have a love like this. Thanks for proving me wrong.
You must be a geologist because you rock my world.
Our love is like custom T-shirts – perfectly tailored, unique, and always in style!
You’re the WiFi to my smartphone – I can’t live without you.
You’re the missing piece to my puzzle, and trust me, I’ve been searching for a while!
You had me at ‘hello,’ and I can’t wait to keep saying hello to all our adventures together.
Valentine, I pick you. Every single day.
“Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.” — Bree Luckey
You’re the Valentine of my (NSFW) dreams.
In case it wasn’t clear, this is me asking you to be my Valentine…
Our love is like a good joke – it gets better with time and always leaves us laughing.
You must be glue, because I’m sticking with you.
If this Valentine could talk, it would say, “Get me out of this envelope!”
I’ve got my ion you!
Roses are red, violets are red, everything’s red, oh no the garden is on fire!
Love is eternal, just like the fact you won’t pick up your socks.
Happy Valentine’s Day to my dog’s favorite person.
They say when you know, you know. And I know – you’re it.
You’re my favorite person to buy cheesy greeting cards for.
You’re my favorite person, today and every day. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Don’t worry about paying rent! You can live inside my heart for free.
Roses are red, violets are blue, poetry is hard. Avocado.
What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine? A Valen-tiny!
If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
If love is the answer, then could you rephrase the question?” — Lily Tomlin
I know it hasn’t been that long, but I legit can’t imagine my life without you in it.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Valentine’s Day: Because love makes even the most mundane activities feel like a romantic comedy.
Good shot, Cupid, good shot. Love you, Valentine!
You stole my heart, but don’t worry; I’ll let you keep it because you make it skip a beat anyway!
You’re my tweet-heart.
Sending you 100% natural, organic love, Valentine! Locally sourced hugs and kisses to follow.
Roses are red violets are blue you’re a psycho but I still love you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a cougar, how old are you?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I think I’m a Facebook Covid policeman and I suspect you are only exercising when the sun’s out which means you’re selfish, and I’m watching you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, white wine costs less than a dinner for two.
You’re the one I want to call after two (okay, three) martinis. That’s true love.
You must be a campfire, because you’re hot and I want s’more.
“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there.” — George Burns
“Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.” — James Thurber
I love you to Reese’s pieces.
You’re the missing piece to my puzzle, or maybe you’re just the puzzle’s funny shape!
“Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.” — W. Somerset Maugham
Love is like a fart – if you have to force it, it’s probably not that great.
Love is being stupid together, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I’ll never take you for granite.
Turns out you’re way more than just extremely hot!
It’s totally cliche, but true – I fall more in love with you every day. Happy Valentine’s Day!
“Love is being stupid together.” — Paul Valery
I love you more than… more than… It would appear I love you more.
Roses are red, violets are blue, these jokes are getting old, and so are you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You look like a donkey and smell like one, too.
“I didn’t fall for you, you tripped me!” — Jenny Han
My heart is yours, today and every day.
“So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea. — King Jaffe Joffer
If I had to choose between you and a chocolate fountain, it would be a tough call.
Love is sharing your popcorn. Bonus points if it’s during a romantic movie, and you still have some left.
My life is just so much better with you in it! How do you do that?
I love you more than I love my phone.
Our love is like a needle. It’s just sew special to me!
You stole a pizza my heart! You saucy thing.
Happy Valentine’s Day to my huggy bear from your kissy face. Love you!
I love you a whole watt.
You’re my favorite thing I’ve found on the Internet.
You’re like my favorite card in a deck: the king/queen of *my* heart.
”Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love” — Albert Einstein
“Love is sharing your popcorn.” — Charles Schulz
You *must* be part magnet, because you always find a way to attract me to you!
I love you more than coffee, and that’s saying a latte!
Have a HUGELY Happy Valentine’s Day
You’re more amazing than sweet tea and Moon Pies.
I love you for your personality, but you being hot is a nice bonus.
The group chat agrees, you’re my best Valentine ever.
May all the love you’ve thrown out there come back to smack you in the nicest way.
I donut know what I’d do without you. I donut want to know. Love you, Sweetie!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I am obsessed, and I’m stalking you!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I normally hate this kind of stuff but I’d do anything for you.
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
I’m, like, obsessed with you! (In a totally non-creepy way.)
Roses are red, but violets aren’t blue. They’re purple, you dope. Now go get a clue.
Our love is like Wi-Fi – sometimes it’s slow, but it’s essential for my happiness!
My love for you is never in vein.
You’re the marshmallow to my hot cocoa—sweet, cozy, and essential for a perfect day.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you were my brother, Anakin, I loved you.
“It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.” — Lucille Ball
You’re the avocado to my toast.
You make every day feel like an early 2000s rom-com. And that’s a VERY high compliment.
Valentine, I’d compare you to the most exclusive wines and caviars, but I don’t like those.
We were written in the stars…er, my Co-Star app. Either way, we’re meant to be.
I’d give you the last fry off my plate. If that’s not love, idk what is.
Valentine’s Day is like a fine chocolate – sweet, indulgent, and best enjoyed with you.
Love is like a roller coaster, and with you, I’m willing to ride the crazy loops!
Roses are red, I’m going to bed.
Our love story: Eat, Sleep, Love, Repeat. Well, mostly eat.
Wishing you a Valentine’s Day that’ll make you wag your tail! If you had one.
What did one shoe say to the other? You’re my sole-mate.
Be my Boo. Or I’ll be Boo-Hoo! Be mine, Valentine?
“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.” — H. L. Mencken
I love you once and flor-al!
You’re the peanut butter to my jelly – a little nutty but totally irresistible!
How lucky are you to have me?!
Roses are red, the earth is wide, you’d look much better with me by your side.
I love you a little s’more every day. You are lip-smackin’ sweetness, Valentine!
Are you a flame?! Because I think I found my perfect match.
Roses are red, violets are blue, all of *this* is just for you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, there’s always someone who’s better than you.
I can heart-ly wait to see you.
Zoom in. Hold. There. Keep holding…keep holding… Forever is good.
You make every day feel like Valentine’s Day!
So that is it for our list of Funny Happy Valentine’s Day Messages. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Funny February Letter Board Quotes, Short Love Quotes for Him, Funny Happy Valentine’s Day Sayings and Winter Chalk Board Art Ideas.
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.