The holidays are all about fun and laughter and enjoying time with friends and family, which is why we have put together a list of all the best hilarious Christmas captions for you to share. And if you’re looking for short hilarious Christmas quotes, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Hilarious Christmas Captions
Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle
May you get everything you want this year, and myrrh!
You better not pout
Say freeze!
Keep calm and snow day on!
You’re sleigh-in’ it.
No lying… We’ve been more naughty than nice!
Make it rein.
Why did the pony miss singing in the choir at the Christmas concert? It was a little horse.
Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family that I’m a gift
Believe in your elf.
Go out there and earn your hot cocoa
Ooooooh. We thought you said, “Christmas BEER.”
What is Father Christmas’ wife’s name? Mary Christmas.
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge
Santa cleans his sleigh with Santa-tizer.
Who wants CANDY CANES?!!!
Dear Santa…can you please define “nice?”
“SANTA! Oh my God! Santa, here?! I know him! I know him!” – Buddy
Wrapper’s delight.
Besides the tree, guess who’s going to get lit all day?
Christmas break to-do list: Eat, drink, nap
Gangsta wrapper.
I want a fat bank account and a slim waist for Christmas this year. You better not mix those two up, Santa!
It’s looking like a Charlie Brown tree kinda year
Christmas comes but once a year, but when it comes, it better bring good beer
That look soots you.
May your holidays be as lovely as they look on Instagram
“Cheer up, dude. It’s Christmas.” — The Grinch
What kind of bug hates Christmas? A bah humbug.
I love you from head to mistletoe.
Happy holly-days, said the wreath to the garland.
The Christmas alphabet has noel
Santa, stop here. We have cookies.
Friends are the hot chocolate in winter season
Treat yo’elf.
Did you hear that Santa knows karate? He has a black belt.
This tree is going to sleigh all day
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
”Be it ever so heinous, there’s no place like home.” — The Grinch
Making it count because Christmas only comes once a year
Freeze the day
I see snow… so, where’s Elsa?
’Tis the season to sparkle and shine
It’s a good thing Santa didn’t see my browser history
“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” – Kin Hubbard
It’s all fun and games ’till Santa checks the naughty list
Why was E the only letter of the alphabet to get presents from Santa? Because all of the other letters were not E.
Dear Santa…I can explain
What do snowmen wear to work? Snowsuits.
Today, I will sleigh Christmas!
What’s green, covered in tinsel and says ‘ribbet ribbet’? A mistle-toad.
Fairy lights on winter nights
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that make snow angels
My presence is really the only gift you need. Merry Christmas!
Keep calm and decorate on
For your present, it’s either a warm hug or a snug choke-hold. Choose wisely!
Good things come in tall packages.
“I’m all toasty inside.” — The Grinch
Decorating the tree is always snow much fun
I’m Claus-trophobic.
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.
December 25th is the only day I become a morning person
What do elves post on social media? Elf-ies.
‘Tis the season to sparkle
Happy Holi-yays!
Snow glad to see you!
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
Sleigh queen, sleigh.
Where does Santa stay during vacations? At the ho-ho-hotel.
Be naughty, save Santa the trip
Winter is like fall except you need five pairs of leggings instead of one
Why are there only 25 letters in the alphabet at Christmas? Because there’s No-el.
It’s lit.
You’re mistletoe-tally rad.
Coffee. Christmas music. Now let’s decorate!
Why can’t the Christmas trees knit? Because they always drop their needles!
I’m elf-taught.
All I want for Christmas is…food!
May your regifting practice go undetected this year
Eat, drink, and be merry
“My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” – Melanie White
Rebel without a Claus.
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases
Rockin’ around the Christmas tree!
What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather? Is it going to rain, dear?
Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Elf-is Presley.
Step right up, jingle file!
Up to snow good
“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan
Leading up to the worst night’s sleep all year
Yule be sorry
My favorite color is evergreen with a hint of tinsel
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
A round of Santa-plause, please.
Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.
This tree is feelin’ merry and bright
It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
Resting Grinch face.
I have the final sleigh.
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture
Dear big, fat, judgmental jerk, I just want to tell you that I’ve been naughty this year and it was all worth it!
Santa ho ho hopes you’ve been good this year
Santa saw your Instagram. You’re getting a muumuu and a Bible for Christmas
The only time of year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year
You know it’s Christmas when your wallet is empty but your heart is full
What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic.
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
When it snows you have two choices. Shovel or snow angels.
Believe in your elf
This one had me at “ho ho ho”!
Feelin’ frosty
Christmas Eve is the one night I’m looking forward to morning
Son of a nutcracker!
What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
Snow happens, hot chocolate helps
Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho ho ho.
What do you call a poor Santa Claus? St. Nickel-less.
Christmas calories don’t count!
“It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.” – Anon
Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing? They keep dropping their needles.
You had me at ho ho ho
You sleigh me.
May your gifts be many, and your returns and exchanges be few
I hope you love the present you told me to buy for you
It’s colder than my soul out here!
What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backward.
We’re just a bunch of candy canes—sweet and slightly twisted
Dear Santa: This isn’t what it looks like
How do Santa’s elves get around the North Pole? They ride icicles.
Winter is warmer when we are laughing
Looking a lot like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
My tree is set to sparkle
Bah, humbug!
I feel better knowing Santa will also be unemployed after Christmas
What nationality is Santa? North Polish.
Have a holly Dolly Christmas.
All I want for Christmas is you… and cookies… and hot chocolate
Sleigh, what?!
“You have such a pretty face. You should be on a Christmas card.” – Buddy
There’s snowplace like home
Why did the snowman go to the garden? To pick his nose.
Have a cool yule and swell noel
Snowy hair, don’t care. It’s Christmas!
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?” – Matt Groening
Wake me up before you cocoa.
There’s Noel time like the present.
Let’s get elf-ed up.
The snuggle is real.
You’re my soul Santa.
My favourite color is Christmas lights
Christmas cheer? I thought I heard Christmas beer.
The snuggle is real
When life gives you snow, make snow angels
Hot chocolate weather
“Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.” – Catherine Tate
Christmas is always a Claus for celebration.
Let it snow… somewhere else!
Sugar and spice make the holidays nice
It’s beginning to *cost* a lot like Christmas…
A Christmas Conspiracy: Olive, the other reindeer…
Drink up, Grinches! It’s Christmas
“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.” – Jerry Seinfeld
Hope you have a remember-forever-and-ever-and-ever-and-ever kind of holiday
Sweet and twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?
Ho-ho-home for Christmas!
Bring on the snow day!
What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
‘Tis the season to be freezin’
It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas
All I want for Christmas is you (and maybe some Christmas cookies, too)
Leave a little sparkle wherever you go
“Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. Loathe entirely.” — The Grinch
Getting more lit than the Christmas tree
Don’t be elfish.
All I want for Christmas is see the link to my wish list
Time to get into the Christmas spirit – vodka, gin, rum, etc.
I put so much thought into your gift, that I never got around to actually buying it. Merry Christmas, anyway!
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” – Henny Youngman
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Will Ferrell, “Elf”
Snow excited!
Every day I’m shovelin’
I put the “ho” in “ho, ho, ho!”
All spruced up and ready the jingle the night away
Rockin’ each other’s Christmas socks
Watch your step – it could be your last
Season’s greetings, said the rosemary to the sage.
When in doubt, add more sparkle
Never underestimate my ability to buy a bigger Christmas tree
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name
I like Santa Claus because he only visits once a year. Every guest should follow his example
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
Being good for goodness’ sake was not enough motivation
A mistle-toast to the holiday season
It’s freezing—snow joke!
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me … What is this, and did you keep the receipt?
She has high elf-esteem.
I’ve decided to give everyone my opinion instead of presents this year. Be excited!
“Son of a nutcracker!” – Buddy
Christmas is too sparkly… said no one ever
The Ghost of Christmas Presents is my favorite Christmas ghost.
You are never too old for a snowball fight
Christmas tree o’ Christmas tree, your ornaments are history
It’s a hot chocolate and tree decorating kind of day
What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho.
Christmas is Claus for celebration!
You can find us under the mistletoe
How much does Santa pay for parking? Nothing, it’s on the house.
Wake me up when it’s summer
Yoda caroling: A Merry Christmas, we wish you. A Merry Christmas, we wish you
Merry Christmas! Now, excuse us while we head back to the mistletoe
Chillin’ with my mug and blanket just like Baby Yoda
Tinsel hair. Don’t care.
I love you from head to mistletoe
Yule be sorry.
Let’s be naughty and save Santa a trip
Your presents is requested
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red
“What about Santa’s cookies? I suppose parents eat those, too?” – Buddy
We’ve got chemis-tree
Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental
Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
Here’s my resting Grinch face
Happy Holidays! Let the bingeing begin!
Cue the twinkly lights
What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles.
My fat pants are ready
“There’s room for everyone on the Nice List!” – Buddy
Sleigh all day
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet.
It is socially acceptable to let my siblings wear the same PJ’s as me tonight
Christmas is coming
Let’s go to the kitchen and whisk everyone a merry Christmas
No need to Claus a scene!
“Blast this Christmas music! It’s joyful and triumphant.” — The Grinch
Break out the ornaments and let the decorating begin
A mistle-toast to the holiday season.
“What is that stench? It’s fantastic.” — The Grinch
Love at frost sight!
Drink up grinches
My spirit animal is Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
“Peppermint, or-na-ment?” she asked when contemplating hanging candy canes on tree.
“You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” – Robert Paul
How rude-olf of you.
100% on the naughty list
Claus I said so!
How did Rudolph do on his report card? He went up in Math and down in History.
I’m pine-ing for you.
Let it snow…. but not on my hair
Ho, ho, ho? More like ha, ha, ha!
Oh, deer
What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love, and your life with absolutely everything you put on your wish list
It was love at frost sight
Have I been naughty this year? Well, I hope one of the reindeer eats the “naughty” list
Dream big, sparkle more, shine bright
What is Santa’s favorite genre of music? Wrap music!
Decking the halls in sparkles
He’s an elf-made man.
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Hornaments.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
But wait—there’s myrrh
Hold on for deer life.
Frozen fingers and eskimo kisses
The battle between me and carbs is the real war this Christmas
Ice to see you!
Snowy hair don’t care
Santa puts you on the naughty list if he has just claus.
I hope you’re less like Santa, and visit me more than once a year
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Krisp Kringle.
Hold on for deer life
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
Don’t get caught elvesdropping on Santa!
It’s snow laughing matter
We go together like hot chocolate and marshmallows
“It’s because I’m green, isn’t it?” — The Grinch
All my savings just disappeared! Is this what they meant by Christmas wonder?
Like the Christmas lights, let’s get lit!
Yule be fit to be tied when you find out you aren’t getting any presents.
But wait—there’s myrrh.
Prancer’s motto: Prance like nobody’s watching.
Get the elf out of here.
“The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!” – Charles N Barnard
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.
Help! There’s snow way out of here
Your presents is requested.
My holiday weight gain is in no way an indication of increased jolliness
“He’s an angry elf.” – Buddy
Right as rein(deer).
What do you call a snowman who works out? An ab-dominal snowman.
“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.” – Winston Spear
Hope you enjoy this “elfie” from us
But first, let me take an elfie.
The reason why we should always jingle all the way is because nobody likes half-assed jingles
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year
I smell presents!
Oh, deer.
Apologizing in advance for the things I say this winter
If kisses were snowflakes, we’d be having a blizzard!
So that is it for our list of Hilarious Christmas Captions. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Short Christmas Couple Captions, Short Funny Merry Christmas Message for Friends and Family, Merry Christmas Sayings for Cards and Funny Christmas Movie Quotes.
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.