100 Funny Baby Captions for those Amusing Moments

We think that when it comes to baby captions, funny ones are the best. So we have put together a list of all the best funny baby captions for Instagram for when you are ready to share your next baby photo. We have also included the best funny baby quotes for Instagram for when someone else has said it best first.

Our Favorite Funny Baby Captions for Instagram

• Oh hi! I’m a needy baby and I want things.
• Your tiny adventures always keep us in stitches.
• You are hereby charged with being exceptionally cute.
• This dude is about to eat his fist
• Spit up is my new favorite accessory. No outfit is complete without it.
• That moment when you go to check on your sleeping baby and their eyes ping open so you drop to the floor and roll out of the room like a ninja.
• Welcome to parenthood, where your favorite new game will be ‘guess that bodily fluid.’
• Shhh, don’t tell my parents… but I’m winning.

• Babies are cutest when they’re someone else’s problem.
• The first night your baby sleeps eight hours straight, you think you’d celebrate. Instead, you will run into their room thinking ‘Oh my god, are they breathing?!’
• Congrats, you’ll soon live in a madhouse run by a tiny army you created yourself.
• Ninety percent of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
• Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park that is.
• Ok, we like beards and baristas…but sometimes you just need a baby to make your day.
• Having a baby changes everything—for the first time.
• Life is going so fast! Before you know it, those tiny hands will be texting you for money.
• Who’s laughing at these silly faces? These babies are cracking themselves up!
• It’s just a phase, but he’s having the time of his life.
• The littlest feet make the biggest footprints in our hearts.
• Of course I’m cute! Have you seen my Mommy?
• I got my mind on my mommy and my mommy on my mind.
• I’ll have a bottle of your finest house white, please.
• Sentenced to 9 months — released early for good behaviour.
• My parents think they’re in charge. They’re so cute.
• Fresh out of the oven and ready for snugglin’.
• You’re my favourite reason ever to lose sleep.
• The Force (of Cuteness) is strong in this one.
• Giggles, curls, ribbons, and bows! Our baby girl is so adorable from head to toe.
• A baby boy may leave smudges in the house and also on your heart.
• Little hands and little feet, our little boy is oh so sweet.
• Last name ‘Ever,’ first name ‘Cutest.

• We made a wish, and you came true.
• You were the missing piece to our puzzle.
• Sometimes the smallest things take the most room in your heart.
• This home runs on cuddles and caffeine.
• You can outgrow a mother’s lap, but never her heart.
• Let me love you a little more before you’re not little anymore.
• If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart.
• You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.
• Sometimes the smallest things take the most room in your heart.
• You’re everything I never knew I wanted.
• When life gets me down, I think of this face.
• No matter how big you get, you’ll always be my baby.
• It’s the little things in life.
• Meet the newest addition to our family, who’s stolen our hearts.

• It’s too early for this kind of cuteness?
• Just realized what little humans we used to be
• When your baby starts laughing at your funny face
• These are some #diaperchanges… Mind. Blown.
• I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like my husband.
• When I was born I was so mad at my parents that I didn’t talk to them for two years.
• You know you’re old when you barely do anything all day but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.
• Sleep? Yes, I have a vague recollection of what that was like.
• If olive oil is made from olives then what is baby oil made from?!?
• My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well played.
• Parenthood: the scariest hood you’ll ever go through.
• Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit. They hold the baby and I go out.
• Babies are like little milkshakes. Cute, but hard to swallow.
• Why are you so obsessed with me?

• If I could give you an attribute, that would be utter cuteness. Welcome to the world, little one.
• I’m getting pretty good at this, I think she likes me!
• You’re my favorite reason ever to lose sleep.
• My mother thought I was the cutest in the family. You proved her wrong.
• I’m not crying; I’m just ordering dinner.
• Ain’t no Mama like the one I’ve got.
• Of course I’m cute! Have you seen my Mommy?
• This home runs on cuddles and caffeine.
• I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.
• Let her sleep, for when she wakes up, she will move mountains.
• And though she is but little, she is fierce.
• His hands stole my heart. His little feet ran away with it.
• How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world.
• You’re so small, yet you take up my entire heart.
• Now I genuinely believe in love at first sight.
• A baby makes love stronger, the days shorter, the nights longer, savings smaller, and a home happier.
• The best thing about being a parent is that you will never be your first priority.
• Happiness is homemade.

• You stole my heart, but I’ll let you keep it.
• From small beginnings come great things.
• The days are long, but the years are short.
• Babies are a link between angels and humans.
• A wonderful miracle happened to me, that is YOU.
• I’m made of sugar (and a little bit of spice!).
• Twinkle twinkle, little star. Do you know how loved you are?
• You stole my heart, but I’ll let you keep it.
• Those chubby cheeks and sparkling eyes.

If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Maternity Photo Shoot Captions, Baby Bump Captions, Pregnancy Captions, Baby Girl Quotes, Baby Boy Quotes, Baby Shower Captions, Funny Family Quotes, Inspirational Family Quotes, Wife Captions, Son Captions, Daughter Captions and Short Baby Quotes.

Short Funny Captions for Babies

• Oh, the things babies make me do
• Hello, I’m new here!
• Do you like it? We made it ourselves.
• The second man to have stolen my heart.
• Product of Netflix and chill.
• Eat, nap, repeat.
• The snuggle is real.

• Tax deduction.
• Naptorious K.I.D.
• Future crawler.
• Alexa, change my diaper.
• Instructions not included.
• I still live with my parents.
• Boss baby.
• Our sequel is released!
• Storm Pooper.
• Spit happens.
• My cute little champ!
• Now I believe in angels.
• Babies change everything.
• Be still my heart!
• You are my sunshine.
• It’s the little things in life.
• Tiny but mighty.
• Babies are bits of stardust.
• Dream big, little one.
• Home is where my baby is.
• Be still, my heart!
• Thank you for choosing me.
• Nobody puts baby in a corner.
• Hello, I’m new here!
• This is our happily ever after.
• Our family is now complete.
• Babies change everything.
• Have you made people yet?

• Our sequel is released!
• My mom’s not a regular mom; she’s a cool mom.
• Ice, ice [baby].
• Hello, my name is Trouble.
• Your first breath took ours away.
• Ten little fingers, ten perfect toes.
• Happiness is the laughter of babies.
• I love you to the moon and back.
• Our family is now complete.

Short Funny Baby Quotes for Instagram

“You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants.” — Billy Madison

“24/7. Once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer!” — Jodi Picoult

“Having a new baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate.” — Anne Lamott

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” — Milton Berle

“I’m a walking zombie and I think I’m going to be like that for a while.” — Tiffani Thiessen

“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.” — Erma Bombeck

“People who say they sleep like a baby, usually don’t have one.” — Leo Burke

“A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.” — Maurice Johnston

“Don’t ever tell the mother of a newborn that her baby’s smile is just gas.” — Jill Woodhull

“Babies are always more trouble than you thought — and more wonderful.” — Charles Osgood

“The only things kids wear out faster than their shoes are their parents.” — John J. Plomp

“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.” — Marshall McLuhan

“Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.” — Ed Howe

“No animal is so inexhaustible as an excited infant.” — Amy Leslie

“Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?” — Alyson Hannigan

“A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house.” — Milwaukee Journal

“Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.” — Shannon Fife

“I didn’t know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child.” — Loretta Lynn

“If parenthood came with a GPS, it would mostly say ‘recalculating.’” — Simon Cholland

“Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.” — Ambrose Bierce

“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” — Jon Stewart

“A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.” — Kin Hubbard

“They vomit a lot. For a second I thought I needed to rename my first Linda Blair and hire a priest because she was spitting up so much.” — Jimmy Fallon

“Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face.” — Olivia Wilde

“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” — Lane Olinghouse

“When you have a baby sleep is not an option. You can’t sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.” — Jimmy Fallon

“You never know when you’re gonna get crapped on or when you’re gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics. It might be like living with a drug addict.” — Blake Lively

“A crying baby is the best form of birth control.” — Carole Tabron

“Our baby in particular is, we think, allergic to sleep. We think that she thinks that she’s protecting us from the sleep monsters. She’s like ‘Oh, I gotta keep them up or the sleep monsters will get them.’” — Ryan Reynolds

“How could something so small create so much of something so disgusting?” — Steve Guttenberg, Three Men and a Baby

“Sleep is like the unicorn — it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any.” — Dr. Seuss

“Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” — Nia Vardalos

“I was on planes [and] when babies would cry, I would be mad at the families. Now I’m like, ‘Let them cry, let them do whatever they want. They can sit on me and poop if they want.’ Now I know more.” — Mindy Kaling

“There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.” — Peter De Vries

“They eat, they crap, they sleep. And if they’re crying, they need to do one of the three and they’re having trouble doing it. Real simple.” — Matthew McConaughey

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” — Franklin P. Jones

“Having children is like living in a frat house- nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” — Ray Romano

“If you were to open up a baby’s head — and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should — you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.” — Dave Barry

“Sometimes going to bed feels like the highlight of my day. Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings.” — Jim Gaffigan

“Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children. Now, I have six children and no theories.” — John Wilmot

“When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: ‘Fetch!’” — Bruce Lansky

“I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.” — Robert Orben

“Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” — Tina Fey

“I [Facetime] sometimes from home. I’m just in the other room going, ’Yeah, daddy misses you, but gotta watch the game.” — Jimmy Fallon

“Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.” — Mark Twain

“Children are a great comfort in your old age — and they help you reach it faster, too.” — Lionel Kauffman

“If you want to know what it’s like to have a fourth kid, just imagine you are drowning and someone hands you a fourth kid.” — Jim Gaffigan

So that is our list of quotes and captions. We hope you found the perfect one for you.

Now go get that perfect baby photo!