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100 Funny Good Morning Quotes and Sayings

The best way to start your morning is with these funny good morning quotes and funny morning sayings to give you a good laugh and help you start your day out right. The way you start your morning will affect the entire day. If your day begins well, you’ll be in an excellent mood for the adventures and challenges ahead. If you’re able to jump out of bed feeling energized and motivated, you’ll likely be a lot more productive throughout the day. These funny morning quotes will help you do just that.

Funny Good Morning Quotes

“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.” — Jim Davis

“Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.” — Marlo Thomas

“I hate mornings, they start so early.” — Janet Evanovich

Sunrise over the hills with short good morning funny quotes by Evanovich

“I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.” — Jarod Kintz

“Morning will come, it has no choice.” — Marty Rubin

“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” — David Lynch

“You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.” — Bob Dole

“To greet a lovely morning, we much leave the night behind.” – Tarang Sinha

Sunrise over the ocean with short quotes for new beginnings by Sinha

“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” — Ursula Le Guin

“Morning not only forgives, it forgets.” — Marty Rubin

“In the morning, I woke like a sloth in the fog.” — Leslie Connor

“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?” — J.R.R. Tolkien

“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” — Lewis Black

“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.” — James Marsden

“Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” — Rachel Caine

“My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door.” — Willie Geist

“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.” — Kristen Chandler

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin

Sunrise over canal with funny good morning quotes by Chaplin

“I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.” — Kevin Hearne

“Some mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm but then one thing always stops me. I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone.” — Job Might

“Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret, but I don’t do it.” — Mitch Hedburg

“When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.” — Crystal Woods

“So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.” — Moss Hart

“Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.” — Kurt Cobain

“Today is a new day. Even if you were wrong yesterday, you can get it right today.” – Dwight Howard

Sunrise over lake with new day quotes for Monday morning by Howard

“I’m sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” — Frank Sinatra

“Mornings are almost clean slates. I say almost because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck on them.” — Medeia Sharif

“A morning coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don’t later fray.” — Marcia Carrington

“Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.” — Terry Pratchett

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” — Dorothy Parker

“Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield.” — Catherynne Valente

“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.” — Tony Smite

Sunrise over ocean with cute funny quotes about morning by Smite

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” — Groucho Marx

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost

“It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning.” — H.G. Wells

“Love is blind. Especially in the morning, because I can’t see a damn thing before having coffee.” — Aleksandra Ninkovic

“I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, “aw s***, he’s up!” — Steve Maraboli

If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Short Morning Quotes, Inspirational Morning Quotes, Good Morning Quotes, New Day Quotes, Good Night Quotes, Morning Captions and Good Morning Love Quotes.

Inspirational Funny Morning Quotes

“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook

“Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day.” — Phil Dunphy

“Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss

“It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” – Benjamin Dover

Mountain reflected in lake at sunset with funny inspirational morning quotes by Dover

“I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.” — James Lileks

“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.” — Punit Ghadge

“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.” — Robert Heinlein

“The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.” — Jean Kerr

“Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees and then kindness.” — Nanea Hoffman

“Now that your eyes are open, make the sun jealous with your burning passion to start the day. Make the sun jealous or stay in bed.” – Malak El Halabi

Sunrise with inspirational quotes for the morning by Malak El Halabi

“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” — Benjamin Franklin

“Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it.” — Richard Whately

“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” — Robert Orben

Funny Quotes of the Day About Morning

“What do sharks do on Monday mornings? They get up and start biting. That’s me.” ― Gemma Collins

“Every Monday you wake up is a day to make a change.” ― Irvine Welsh

“The only good Monday is a Monday in bed.” ― Lee Horton

“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.” – Ella Woodward

Sunrise over ocean with funny quotes about Monday morningby Woodward

“Monday isn’t that bad to be honest, What makes it bad is living in it.” ― Day

“Monday is for people with a mission.” ― Christina Imre

“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.” ― Julio Alexi Genao

“The best weeks start on Monday.” ― Nice Peter

“Don’t let a day of the week have so much power over your happiness. Happy Monday!” ― Andrea L’Artiste

“If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!” – John Wagner

Sunrise over river with funny Monday morning quotes for work by Wagner

“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.” ― Lisa Mantchev

“Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.” ― Joseph Addison

“How I long for the day to come when Sunday is every day of the week.” ― Byron Pulsifer

“Time flows in a strange way on Sundays.” ― Haruki Murakami

“Good morning Sunday, wish it was Saturday.” ― Bev Johnston

“The goal of Sunday is to leave my home as little as possible.” ― Mark Morris

Sunrise over patio with funny quotes about Sunday morning

“I’m easy like Sunday morning.” — Commodores

“You know what Sunday is, and it’s a day with a lot of potential for naps.” ― Polly Horvath

“Sunday, the day for the language of leisure.” ― Elfriede

“SUNDAY – The day I planned a lot but did nothing.” ― Lovely Goyal

“Feeling blessed, never stressed. Got that sunshine on my Sunday best.” — Surfaces, “Sunday Best”

“Sundays tend to be a day where just I do nothing but visit people. It’s kind of like trick-or-treating.” ― Chuck Palahniuk

“The frantic pace of life is only interrupted by the quietness of Sunday.” ― Byron Pulsifer

“Be in the habit of getting up bright and early on the weekends. Why waste such precious time in bed? – Marilyn Vos Savant

Sunrise with inspirational weekend quotes by Marilyn Vos Savant

“Although I understand that all days are equal with 24 hours each, most of us agree that Friday is the longest day of the week and Sunday the shortest! D.S.” ― Mixell

“Sunday! A family day with a touch of weekend thrown in for good measure.” — Anthony T. Hincks

“I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” — Audrey Hepburn

“Your body tells you what it needs, and if you sleep past your alarm on a Saturday morning, it’s probably because you need the sleep.” — Sophia Bush

“No one likes Tuesday morning but at least it’s not Monday morning.” – Bev Johnston

Sunset over the ocean wtih funny Tuesday morning quotes

“I’m not an early bird at all. Ideally, on Saturday morning I’d allow myself a lovely lie-in. 10:45 would be just right.” — Shilpa Shetty

“On a lazy Saturday morning when you’re lying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, there is a space where fantasy and reality become one.” — Lynn Johnston

“Saturday mornings, I’ve learned, are a great opportunity for kids to sneak into your bed, fall back asleep, and kick you in the face.” — Dan Pearce

Mountains and clouds with funny good morning Saturday quotes by Pearce

“Saturday morning, you knew what was cool by what was on ‘Soul Train’.” — Nick Cannon

“I always wake up early Saturday morning, and I have a little bit more time.” — Ehud Olmert

“One small positive thought on this Thursday morning can change your whole day.” — Tahnni Dupre

“It’s Friday morning mankind! Good vibe, don’t frown and let the monster see you smile!” — Napz Cherub Pellazo

“When Wednesday morning came the weather was very fine, And the sun in the heavens brightly did shine, And continued so all the live long day.” — William Topaz McGonagall.

“Tuesday morning and its all uphill from here.” — Mark Yemen

Funny Wake Up Quotes

“When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective.” — Harvey Mackay

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” — Kurt Vonnegut

“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” — Benjamin Franklin

Sunrise over lake iwth funny wake up quotes by Franklin

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” — Dean Martin

“If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize.” — Muhammad Ali

“I’m living a dream I never want to wake up from.” — Cristiano Ronaldo

“Wake up, you are not lost, you are so close to winning.” – Santosh Kumar (San)

Person greeting sun with wake up motivation quotes by Kumar

“I would rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on earth.” — Steve McQueen

Funny Sunrise Quotes

“Not all the creatures will be excited by the sunrise.” ― Kamaran Ihsan Salih

“Truly, were I every evening to depict sunrise, and every morning to see it, still I should cry, like the children, Once more, once more!” — Jean Paul Friedrich

“For a girl with such a dark mind, you’re a little too in love with the sunrise.” ― Sherry Namdeo

“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” — Mindy Kaling

Pink sunrise with funny sunrise quotes by Mindy Kaling

“Dawn and its excesses always reminded me of heaven, a place where I have always known I would not be comfortable.” ― Marilynne Robinson

“I love to watch cities wake up, and Paris wakes up more abruptly, more startlingly, than any place I know.” ― Bill Bryson

“The sun rises before I do, but I break even by retiring after it does.” — Jules Rena

“Sunrise is starting to feel like a guilt trip.” ― Kris Kidd

“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes as such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook

Funny Morning Sayings

“Workout in the morning before your brain figures out what you’re doing.”

“All the coffee beans in Colombia won’t make me a morning person.”

“Good Morning! Come on, get up! The day does not mess up by itself.”

“I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed.”

“Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.”

“Why do they call it ‘beauty sleep’ when you wake up looking like a troll.”

Sunrise over ocean with funny morning sayings

“I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen”

“I could be a morning person if morning happen to be around noon.”

“5 minutes of extra sleep in the morning seriously does matter…”

“A person falls asleep the fastest when he turns off the alarm clock.”

“I was beautiful, rich, sexy … and then the alarm rang! Good Morning!”

“Good morning world! Your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.”

“I smiled right after getting up. I think I dislocated my face. Good Morning!”

“Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I am functioning at full capacity.”

“Getting up early is the first step in the wrong direction! Good Morning!”

“Good morning! Wishing you a day full of sunny smiles and happy thoughts.”

“My bed and I love each other but the alarm clock is not clear! Good Morning!”

“Of course I can start the day motivated. Just not in the morning! Good Morning!”

“Me & Morning don’t see eye to eye, mostly because I don’t want to open mine!”

“The coffee was added successfully. This body can now be started. Good Morning!”

“Be strong’ I whisper to my coffee.”

“I drink coffee for your protection.”

“The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me.”

“A yawn is a silent scream for coffee…”

“I like my bed more than I like most people.”

“I need to get up; my coffee needs me.”

“I don’t like morning people…or mornings…or people.”

“My mom said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.”

Sunrise over the hills with short funny morning sayings

“Getting up early is the first step in the wrong direction.”

“I think I’m allergic to morning.”

“Help…I’ve ran out of weekend!”

“I need something more than coffee but less than cocaine.”

“He who gets up early … is sleepy all day!” Good Morning!”

“You have a message: Wake up, you loafer!” Good Morning!”

“Hey you with all that energy of 6 a.m….You’re not human.”

“Tomorrow will come, you have no choice.” Good Morning!”

“Drink some coffee and pretend you know what you’re doing.”

“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.”

“Good Morning! At the beginning of a new stressful day.”

“God created the sleep, and the devil created an alarm clock.”

Well, that’s our list! We hope you were able to find the quotes and sayings you were looking for and that these funny quotes for morning helped you start your day on the right note.

Now get out there and enjoy your morning!

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Sunrise over ocean
Woman holding up a clear chunk of ice on the beach

About the Author

Laynni Locke

I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.

And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.

With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.

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