It’s fall and the pumpkins are ready for carving season, so we have put together a list of all the best pumpkin puns and jokes for your next post. And if you’re looking for short pumpkin sayings for Instagram, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Pumpkin Puns
Happy Hollow-ween
Fall so hard mother pumpkins wanna spice us
Dear gourd
I’m pumpkin you up!
Ready to squash
I’ve been pumpkin iron at the gym
You’ve got to be pumpkin-ding me!
I’ve never met a pumpkin I didn’t like.
I’m just here for the pumpkin pie.
Hello gourdgeous
Let’s carve out some fun this fall.
Orange you glad it’s fall?
Pumpkin out puns like it’s nobody’s business
Pumpkin pi
Oh my gourd, we’re having the best time at the pumpkin patch
I’m feeling empty inside
Let’s pumpkin spice things up!
Me + PSL = Squashgoals.
War and Piece
That’s the way the pumpkin spice crumbles.
Let’s get smashed!
Blood type: Pumpkin Spice.
Gourd goals
You’re gourdgeous
The smashing pumpkins
Go big or gourd home
Oh my gourdness, it’s autumn!
I’m pumpkin to talk to you.
I’m a real pumpkin-head.
I only have pies for you.
Time to jack up my pumpkin
Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern
I love my pumpkin spice a latte
Carving out some time for fun
Oh my gourd. I love Halloween.
Pie love spending time with you
You occu-pie my thoughts
Let the gourd times roll!
Time flies when you’re having pum-pkin
Squash Goals
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Get off my jock-o-lantern
Pumpkin everything, please!
Life is gourd.
Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
Let’s get glowing
Pie’ve been waiting all season for this
I’m a little bit of a country pumpkin
Piece and love
Be of gourd cheer.
Unless it’s pumpkin spice, I don’t give a frappe
I’ve got my eyes on the pies
Cutie pie
I love pumpkin gourds. They are so gourdgeous.
I’m not lion, I love pumpkin.
Squash any beef this fall
Your smile lights up a room
Gourd big or go home.
Pumpkin Spice and everything nice.
I know a latte pumpkin spice puns.
Let’s get lit!
Give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
Squash goals
You are the pumpkin of my pie.
I’m the pun King
Gourd your loins!
Have a gourd time!
Oh my gourdness, it’s fall!
I’m the pumpkin king/queen!
Follow the pumpkin patch road. Wait, where’s Toto?
Oh my gourd!
Don’t go(urd) breaking my heart.
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never
I love pumpkin spice a latte
You’re the pick of the (pumpkin) patch.
Get pumped for Halloween!
Have a gourd Halloween.
Life is gourd with you around
Patch you later!
Looking gourd-geous, darling!
I spy with my little pie
Orange you pumped for Autumn?
I’m ahead of the carve
Trick or treat yo’ self
I only drink pumpkin spice — just call me a basic witch.
What a gourdgeous day to spend with you
Let’s pumpkin spice things up a bit
Gourd of the rings
What’s cooking, gourd looking?
Life is gourd when it’s pumpkin spice season!
Pumpin Spice Up Your Life!
Piece out
Hit the road, jack-o-lantern
Oh my gourd, it’s pumpkin season!
Gourd out of my mind
This jack-o-lantern is gonna be lit
Hanging with my cutie (pumpkin) pie
Hey gourd-geous!
Not just another squash
You’ve pumpkin patched my heart with love
Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about
Oh my gourd! I love fall.
Gourd vibes only.
You struck a gourd with me.
Call me the piece maker
Beauty is in the pie of the beholder
Say hollow to my little friend!
You’re really struck a gourd with me
Get yourself a pumpkin. It will never ghost you
Wow, this pumpkin is totally jacked.
I’m gourd-geous, aren’t I?
You don’t know jack-o-lantern
Pumpkin patchin’ it up.
Go big or gourd home!
You want a piece of me?
I’m feeling vine today.
You really struck a gourd with me
I’m on the rind 24/7.
Sorry I’m latte — I had to pick up my pumpkin spice.
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Haunted House Captions, Pumpkin Carving Captions, Pumpkin Captions, Pumpkin Spice Captions, Corn Maze Captions and Apple Picking Captions.
Pumpkin Jokes
What did the pumpkins say at happy hour? Let’s get smashed.
Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.
How did the jack-o’-lantern win the science prize? A light went on in his head!
What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver? Cut it out.
Why do pumpkins perform so poorly in school? Because they had all their brains scooped out.
Why is trick or treating with identical twin witches so challenging? You can never tell which witch is which.
What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock o’ lantern.
What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin? You look a little sick.
Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful? Because he’s empty-headed.
When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say? I’m vine, thanks!
What kind of romance do pumpkins enjoy? A mushy romance.
What did one Pumpkin say to the other? Happy Hollowing!
How did the jack-o’-lantern quit smoking? The pumpkin patch.
Where do pumpkins hold meetings? The gourdroom.
Why don’t mummies go on vacations? They are too afraid to unwind.
Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music? On vine-yl.
Which Halloween creature got the best grades in Math? Count Dracula.
What rides do ghosts like best at the haunted carnival? The scary go-round and the roller ghost-er.
What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? A life-gourd.
What are gourds afraid of? Things that go pumpkin the night.
Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern? Use a pumpkin patch.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year? You’ll get autumn’y ache.
What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern? A plumpkin.
What kind of music do mummies like best? Wrap music, duh.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes? To make them even more basic.
A pumpkin says to a jack-o’-lantern, All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different? The jack-o’-lantern replies, I don’t have the guts.
What did the queasy pumpkin say? I don’t feel so gourd.
Which English pop singer is most popular during the Thanksgiving holiday? Pumpkin Spice.
How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music? On vine-yl.
What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker? Use apples, instead.
Where do pumpkins like to live? In the seedy part of town.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western? The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly.
Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart? A candle makes them bright.
Why did everyone think the jack-o-lantern was evil? It had a wicked candle inside it.
What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or Tweet!
Which Halloween creature is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
What’s black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a pumpkin.
What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
Why was the gourd so gossip-y? To give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.
What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun? Go bungee gourd jumping.
What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin? Oh my gord!
What type of pants do ghosts wear? Boo jeans.
What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving? Good-pie, everyone.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
Why don’t skeletons eat Halloween candy? They just don’t have the stomach for it.
What band do all pumpkins despise? The Smashing Pumpkins.
How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction? Apply the pumpkin patch.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? They have no body to go with.
Funny Pumpkin Sayings
You had me at pumpkin spice
The smashing pumpkins
I’ve never met a pumpkin I didn’t like
Pumpkin spice and everything nice
Pumped for pumpkins!
Autumn skies and pumpkin pies
One pumpkin a day keeps the witches away
There’s no such thing as frowning in a pumpkin patch… unless it’s carved on one
Pure pumpkin goodness
Fall is my excuse for pumpkin everything
Great Pumpkin believer since 1966
Pumpkin season has begun
Pumpkin spice and chill
Pumpkin patching time!
But first, pumpkin spice
Autumn leaves and pumpkins please
It’s always pumpkin spice and everything nice when you’re around
Pumpkin is the spice of life
Pretty sure I am sweeter than pumpkin pie
Pumpkin patch princess. Actually, make it queen.
You had me at pumpkin patch
Pick of the patch
Stressed, blessed, pumpkin obsessed
Get yourself a pumpkin. It will never ghost you
There’s no such thing as getting lost in a pumpkin patch
Keep calm and buy pumpkins
Pumpkin-flavored kisses and autumn wishes
Not just another squash
Let’s spice things up
I love you, pumpkin
In fall, orange is my favorite color
I’m no Cinderella, but I know that pumpkins are magical
I’ve never met a pumpkin I didn’t like
Cutest pumpkins in the patch
Easy as pumpkin pie
Pumpkin Everything
Pumpkin patch princess
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
Pure pumpkin goodness
Brb, I’m going to the pumpkin patch
There’s a new pumpkin in the patch!
Ask not what your pumpkin can do for you, ask what you can do for your pumpkin
You’re the pumpkin spice to my latte
I love pumpkin spice a latte
Follow the pumpkin patch road
Advice from a pumpkin: be well-rounded, get plenty of sunshine, give thanks for life’s bounty, have thick skin, keep growing, be outstanding in your field, think big
Chilling with the cutest little pumpkins
Pumpkin kisses and harvest wishes
Welcome to our patch
It’s lit like a pumpkin spice candle
Aw, pumpkin!
So that is it for our list of Pumpkin Puns, Jokes and Sayings. We hope you found the perfect one!
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.