Thanksgiving is a jovial holiday where the jokes often come thick and fast, so we have gathered all the best short funny Thanksgiving quotes for you to share. And if you’re looking for short funny Thanksgiving sayings, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Short Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings
Thankful, blessed, and mashed potato obsessed
Cheers to a Thanksgiving that’s anything but fowl.
Don’t forget: Leftovers are for quitters. Cheers to a bountiful Thanksgiving!
“Turkey for the girls and Turkey for the boys. Gobble gobble goo and Gobble gobble gickel.” – Adam Sandler, The Thanksgiving Song
Don’t let the holidays gobble up your sanity.
“I know what I’m having for Thanksgiving and it ain’t turkey.” – Anthony T. Hincks
This turkey is all carved up! Do you suspect fowl play?
Because you know I’m all about that baste
Oh, do you like the main course? Well, you haven’t seen stuffing yet.
Don’t make fun of the turkey—it’s been roasted enough today.
Can’t wait to feast my eyes on the dessert.
I’m so bready for all these carbs on Thanksgiving.
A good Thanksgiving meal is the tur-key to my heart.
Let’s get basted!
We’re really plucky to have a great turkey this Thanksgiving.
Goodness gracious, great gobbles of fire!
Never fear, pumpkin-flavored everything is here!
Turkey, gravy, beans and rolls. Let me see that casserole.
“‘So what do we do?’ We do what all families do. Grin, bear it, and pass the mashed potatoes.” – Heather Brewer, Eleventh Grade Burns
Birds of a feather flock together
Happy Thanksgiving! May the food be delicious and the dinner conversation be civil.
I hope you have a great Thanksgiving (emphasis on the eat).
Winner, winner, turkey dinner
I cran and I will go back for seconds
Thanksgiving: A time to count blessings, not carbs
Please raise your gobble gobble goblets for a Thanksgiving toast!
This turkey will make you fowl with delight.
“We began to view Thanksgiving as just another paid holiday.” – Shari MacDonald
There’s pumpkin about Thanksgiving that I love so much.
I love when you talk turkey to me.
Official occupation: couch potato
I hope your Thanksgiving is as sweet as pumpkin pie.
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” – Phyllis Diller
“Thanksgiving—when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook. – Melanie White
“Even though we’re a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” —Richard Roeper
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”—Stephen Colbert
“For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.”—Andy Borowitz
“I like football. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.”—Craig Ferguson
“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” —Kevin James
“It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.” —Phyllis Diller
“Here I am, 5 o’clock in the morning, stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird’s butt.” – Rosanne in Rosanne
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” —Erma Bombeck
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” —Jim Davis
“Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.”—Rita Rudner
“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”—Jay Leno
“Coexistence: What the farmer does with the turkey—until Thanksgiving.”—Mike Connolly
“If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it’s really like making a large chicken.”—Ina Garten
“Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftover in aluminum foil and throw them out.”—Nicole Hollander
“Good mashed potato is one of the great luxuries of life.” —Lindsey Bareham
“Pie makes everybody happy.”—Laurie Halse Anderson
“It’s Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together!”—Rachel Green, Friends
“I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.”—Charlie Brown
“Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It’s a national tradition.” – Eric Samuel Timm
“A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.”—Kin Hubbard
“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.”—Oscar Wilde
“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.”—George Bernard Shaw
“Of all of the food filled holidays, Thanksgiving reigns king in the United States.” – Gia Scott
“People who love to eat are always the best people. – Julia Child
Fitness? More like fitness whole turkey in my mouth
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope your turkey—and your holiday—are stuffed with great things.
I don’t want to accuse anyone of fowl play, but there’s no more leftovers.
You’ve foiled my plans for taking home leftovers.
Feast your eyes on this glorious Thanksgiving spread.
“Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.” —Melanie White
Thankful for elastic waistbands
“What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?” – Erma Bombeck
“It’s like being at the kids’ table at Thanksgiving – you can put your elbows on it, you don’t have to talk politic.” – John Hughes
I was going to wish you a Happy Turkey Day, but I didn’t want to use any fowl language.
Hey, I’m just grateful I’m not the turkey. Happy Thanksgiving!
You could say I’m into fitness—as in, fitness scoop of mashed potatoes into my mouth.
“Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.” – P.J. O’Rourke
Are you already looking forward to that post-Thanksgiving nap? Yeah, so am I.
There’s no need for a wine glass when you’ve got a gobble-let!
Happy Thanksgiving. Now, let’s get to the food.
“You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.”—Dylan Brody
“Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line.” —John Lyon
Thanksgiving is here, and I cran-barely contain my excitement. Hope you have a great Turkey Day.
Hoping your Thanksgiving is full of love and free of fowl play.
Thanksgiving dinner was made all in a holi-day’s work.
Don’t let any Thanksgiving turkey go to baste.
Will I eat leftovers for a week? I cran, and I will.
Family, turkey, and football — oh my!
It’s so easy to lose track of thyme during the holidays.
Me: “I can’t eat another bite!” Also me: “Did you say pie?”
“I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.” – Damien Fahey
We’re serving the turkey’s favorite dessert this year: peach gobbler!
“My fondest memories are generally the day after Thanksgiving.” – Katharine McPhee
The thing I’m most thankful for this year? That I’m not hosting Thanksgiving.
Everyone knows that Thanksgiving is my jam!
There’s just pumpkin about the way you look tonight.
Casse-rollin’ with the fam!
There was no fowl play involved in the carving of this turkey.
“I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.”—Robert Brault
What comes first: The poul-tree or the Christmas tree.
Thanksgiving: A time to count blessings, not carbs
You gotta go all or stuffing on Thanksgiving.
Can you be-leaf that all this food is for Thanksgiving?
Family may not see pie to pie, but we sure do love Thanksgiving.
We’re trading in the Christmas tree for poul-tree this year.
Don’t mess with us, or we’ll show you how we casser-roll.
I’m riding the gravy train to being stuffed.
Current status: stuffed like a turkey
My favorite genre of music is Plymouth rock n’ roll!
Not to get too corny, but this Thanksgiving food is amaizeing.
“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” —Irv Kupcinet
Dessert after the meal is the tur-key to my heart.
Turkey Day is the moist wonderful time of the year.
Hey, that turkey wishbone is doing its best—give it a break.
If our turkey was in a band, he’d play the drumsticks.
Heard you finally made it to the adults table—about time!
Because you know I’m all about that baste
Here’s the one photo we got before the food coma hit…
The only thing corny about Thanksgiving is cornbread.
May everyone in your family gobble till they wobble this Thanksgiving.
This wine pairs well with a crazy family
“The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat.” —Jim Gaffigan
“On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.”—William Jennings Bryan
The only ice cream Pilgrims can eat is rocky road.
Remember: Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, not your calories. Enjoy the holiday!
Fitness? More like fitness whole turkey in my mouth
I’m thankful to have a family who takes eating as seriously as I do
I always feel a lot butter on Thanksgiving.
This turkey is thankful for vegetarians.
Turkey and wine and I’m feeling fine
Hope your relatives stay relatively sober and relatively non-political this Turkey Day.
Touchdowns, tailgates, and turkey
You can tell the gravy is excited because it’s all stirred up.
“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” – Willie Nelson
“Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas.” – Augusten Burroughs
Don’t stare at the turkey dressing. You’ll make him blush!
Let’s get basted this Thanksgiving!
Don’t forget to squash up for Thanksgiving dinner.
Hope your Turkey Day is full of fun, food, family, and most importantly, football.
“It’s not too much food. This is what we’ve been training for our whole lives.” – Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Don’t let the turkey fool you. He’s got a baste of spades in his giblets.
Nobody puts gravy in the corner
Can someone pick up the turkey’s phone? It’s winging.
So that is it for our list of Short Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Short Thanksgiving Letter Board Quotes, Funny Thanksgiving Wishes, Short Thanksgiving Captions, Short Gratitude Quotes, Happy Thanksgiving Wishes and Short Thanksgiving Sayings.
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.