Halloween is one of the funniest holidays of the year, so we have gone ahead and gathered all the best funny Halloween captions for your next post. And if you’re looking for short funny Halloween quotes for Instagram, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Funny Halloween Captions
Happy Halloween to my Hallow-queen.
Time to get this party startled!
Can’t hide it, I love pumpkin spice a whole latte.
A ghost comedian is dead funny.
Don’t forget to do your hair with scare spray on Halloween.
Pretty sure Gourd of the Rings deserves an Oscar.
Pumpkin season has begun
Oh my gourd, Halloween is finally here.
You en-witch my life.
Witch and ghost make merry on this last of dear October days.
I will gourd this candy with my life!
You say witch like it’s a bad thing
A cutie that’s a little spooky.
You’re in ghoul company
Hocus Pocus and chill?
Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but Halloween.
You’re sweeter than all the candy that I’ll receive this year.
Halloween’s the one day you’re supposed to come as you aren’t.
No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!
You’re going to Snicker after hearing all of my Halloween puns.
I’m just dying to have some fun!
I’m the ghostest with the mostest
If you’ve got it, haunt it
Looking brew-tiful tonight!
It’s time to have some skele-fun
Bugs and hisses, witches!
I’m only human, I’ve got a skeleton in me
Not going to eat candy? That’s witchful thinking.
A real witch is nothing without her ghoulfriends
It’s witchful thinking.
A little pumpkin told me it’s your first Halloween. Boo!
Ahead of the carve
Will you be my ghoul friend?
With the boo crew
The pumpkin to my spice
Let’s get (pumpkin) smashed
Let’s bone
Drop dead gorgeous
Double, double toil and trouble!
I won’t let you slip through my Butter Fingers
It’s a brew-tiful day for eating tons of candy.
You’re the treat to my trick
Wishing you a spook-tacular night full of chills and thrills.
Fall is my excuse for pumpkin everything
Let’s carve out some fun this October!
Ready to pumpkin spice up the night.
What’s up, my witches?
Witches get stitches.
Wishing you a fang-tastic Howl-oween!
Bake it in the coven.
Creepin’ it real
Hot ghoul Halloween
Don’t go goblin up all my candy
Straight Outta Salem
Basic witch
These colors are unbe-leaf-able!
Witch-ful thinking got me here.
Fangs for the memories
I can’t Reese-ist a good Halloween pun
Fright Night
My costume is absolutely eerie-sistible.
The ghosts really brought the boo-ty this year.
You better work, witch
Happy Hallo-weenie!
Be witched!
They say it was love at first bite—fangs and all.
bowl of candy corn
This is my resting witch face
I have one thing to say about this candy: Bone appétit!
No more treats? This is unBOOlievable
Spell-abrate good times!
Carving out fun
Get in, loser. We’re going haunting.
I can’t help it… it’s in my blood.
There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight.
Hocus pocus, I need coffee to focus
Here I am, warts and all.
Let’s make a witch-tastic team!
This is the one time a year I could truly be myself
Who wants to join my fang club?
Trick or treat, bag of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street.
This is my magic happy potion
I’m here for the boos
Feeling witchy.
Hope your Halloween is full of Snickers and (Almond) Joy!
Howl you doin’?
You’re my fiend for life.
Everything I brew, I brew for you.
If the broom fits, fly it
Skeletons don’t have the guts to dress up for Halloween.
Bewitch you were here!
Fangs for the memories
A nightmare before coffee
girl dressed as witch, holding pumpkin and broom, portrait
Not every witch lives in Salem
Don’t forget your spoo-key—this house doesn’t unlock itself.
Just know that zom-body is thinking of you this Halloween.
Shake your BOOty
Beware of Resting Witch Face.
Wrapped up and ready—you’re clearly the mummy of the year.
Hope your Halloween is hex-tra special this year.
Slipped on a pumpkin and totally lost my gourd.
Witch, please
Sweet like candy
Lookin’ absolutely gourd-geous tonight.
Halloween’s not the same if I can’t be witch you.
Brrr… it’s cold in here. There must be some spirits in the atmosphere!
You really don’t know jack-o’-lantern, do you?
Witcha up to?
Halloween is going to be great—I can feel it in my bones!
Happy Halloween from the cutest pumpkin in the patch.
Happy Hallo-weenie!
Catch me carving out a little fall fun
Got a bone to pick with every skeleton at this party.
All my best ghoulfriends are total witches
Witching you a Happy Halloween.
Crowning myself the official pun-kin king.
Ghosting is my superpower, deal with it.
Beware of the werecat.
A wee bit wicked
I’m already ten steps ahead of the carve this year.
Can’t always get what you wand.
Witch better have my candy
It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus
Keep calm and carry a wand
Happy Halloween! We’re back and better. (From the dead.)
This is where the magic happens
Halloween night Pop Rocks my world
Starbursting to eat all this candy
Fall is my excuse for pumpkin everything
Keep calm and cartilage on
I put a spell on you
I don’t celebrate Halloween, I am Halloween
With the boo crew
Getting kissed by a vampire is a pain in the neck.
I’m all tricks, no treats.
Still searching for a boo who’s my blood type.
My horror-scope predicts that this Halloween will be pretty spooky.
Don’t make me get the flying monkeys
It’s going tibia okay!
I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
World’s okayest pumpkin carver
Can you tell me witch way to the pumpkin patch?
Twix or treat!
This witch likes wine
99 problems but a witch ain’t one
This soup tastes witch-licious!
A cat’s favorite candy is a Kit Kat.
I’ve got tricks and treats up my sleeve.
Did you say treat?
Too cute to spook
You make me batty
Don’t make me drop a house on you
These costumes are scary good.
More boos, please
I’ll be-witcha in a second!
Favorite math joke? Easy: pumpkin pi.
This party? Totally a gourd time.
Call it what it is: pure squash ambition.
Eat, drink & be scary
You’re the best of the bunch—truly the pick of the patch.
Witch out for me!
No bones about it!
I hope you like your coffee with scream and sugar.
Eat, drink, and be scary
New face, who ‘dis?
Just a broom and a little perfume
Forever your Zom-bae
Can I witch a ride? My broomstick broke.
Let’s get spooky
We’re having a howling good time!
Pure pumpkin goodness
Welcome to the pun-kin patch, where the jokes never rot.
Come Halloween, it’s Crunch time.
child holding a halloween pumpkin over their face
When the witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers ’tis near Halloween.
Creepin’ it real!
#SquadGhouls
Hey, boo-tiful
Having a howling good time!
I’m not playing Twix when I say I love this holiday.
Every angel has a devilish side
I will protect this candy with all my gourd.
I’m just a mere ghost of my former self.
Have a humerus Halloween
You know what I like to say: bugs and hisses.
It’s fall coming back to me now
Cracked jack-o’-lantern? No problem, there’s always a pumpkin patch.
Halloween makes me so (candy) corny
The Halloween candy is spook-tacular.
Straight outta coffin
Just out here creepin’ it real, as usual.
Feeling batty!
Where my ghouls at?
Hey, boo, let’s get sheet-faced
Bite me
You can always count on a vampire to go for the blood orange.
This letter is sealed with a vampire bite.
Living that sweet, seasonal gourd life.
I’m ahead of the carve
Howl’s it hanging this Halloween?
Have a wicked good Halloween.
Bad and boo-jee
I did some exorcise to prepare for all this candy
The dead rise again, bats fly, terror strikes and screams echo, for tonight it’s Halloween.
Take heed, ’tis the season for eerie indeed!
A ghost unlocks a door with a spoo-key.
It’s the most frightful time of the fear.
This Halloween is going to be absolutely fang-tastic!
Just checked my horror-scope—looks like a killer night ahead.
Fall foliage is my favorite color
It’s time to get this party startled!
This witch can be bribed with chocolate
Tell everybunny it’s time for a Hoppy Halloween.
A group of ghosts is called a boo-crew.
Looking pawsitively bootiful
Only bad witches can drive stick
May chills run down your spine this Halloween.
Your costume? Couldn’t scare less.
Keeping it cool and pumpkin-flavored.
If you’re looking for a scare, then come fright this way!
I know how to drive a stick.
No playing it small. Go big or gourd home.
I’ve been there, done bat.
Here’s to a Halloween that’s so fun, it’s scary!
Psst…This isn’t a costume
Just a little pumpkin spice to sweeten the season.
You know what they say: If the broom fits!
My costume really hit the gourd spot.
Keep calm and carry a wand.
Putting the ‘boo’ in booty
BYOBoos
You know what they say: Keep calm, trick-or-treat and carry on.
#HotGhoulFall
I’m a witch every day. Not just for Halloween.
Fangs for the memories.
Got my pumpkin pies set on you.
Witching you lots of love!
Wishing you a Halloween filled with tricks and treats.
Looking fur-ocious
Ghouls just wanna have fun
Hocus pocus and chill?
Orange you glad you dressed up for Halloween?
Giving my spookiest boo to you and yours this Halloween.
100 percent that witch
Have yourself the happiest of Hollow-weens!
I hope you find this humerus
Your costume is so realistic that it’s un-candy!
I’m bat to the bone.
You’ve got me under your spell.
Waaay ahead of the carve!
Witch upon a star.
Cutest pumpkin in the patch
Boo-in it for the ‘gram
Killin’ it
Happy Hollow-ween!
Bat to the bone
It’s all treats or all pumpkin. No in-between.
Mischief managed
Angel by day. Devil by night
Witch parking. All others will be toad.
I’m witcher than you.
I can’t make everyone happy—I’m not pumpkin spice!
Trick or tequila
If the broom fits, fly it
Frankenstein skips the dance floor with his two left feet.
So pumped for Halloween I could burst like an overripe gourd.
My costume is eerie-sistible
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… and spiders.
During the day, I don’t believe in ghosts. At night, I’m a little more open-minded.
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless
Trick or treat, motherpupper
I’ve got a ghost problem — everyone sees right through me.
Grab your broomstick so we can make a clean getaway.
Witch and famous.
I’m a haunt mess
You’re the pumpkin I’ve been waiting for.
Have a fang-tastic night!
Witching you a Happy Halloween!
If you didn’t get tricked, was it even Halloween?
Let’s give em pumpkin to talk about
It’s time to monster mash!
Let’s give ’em pumpkin worth talking about.
Catch me on the dark side
I wave my wand and put on my cape and wish you lots of treats on this date.
There aren’t any skeletons in my closet, but I do have some in my trunk
Here’s hoping all your Halloween fears come true.
Wicked awesome.
Ghosts have a lot of spirit – literally.
Had a spooktacular night!
Witch better have my candy.
You don’t know jack-o’-lantern.
This will definitely come in candy.
Carving out quality time for spooky season.
Hallow Howl-o-ween!
May your jack-o’-lantern burn bright all through the night!
Witch-tastic times ahead.
Something wicked this way comes
Out here feeling gourd and festive.
Stressed, blessed, pumpkin obsessed
Let’s carve out some fun
Lookin’ gourd-geous!
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Funny Halloween Letter Board Quotes, Ghost Letter Board Quotes and Funny Pumpkin Captions.
Short Funny Halloween Quotes
“I see dead people.” – The Sixth Sense
“Once upon a time, there was a girl and the girl had a shadow.” — Red, “Us”
“I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.” – Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
“What an excellent day for an exorcism.” — Demon, “The Exorcist”
“We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves!” – Humbert Wolfe
“It’s our time now. Our time up there.” — Red, “Us”
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” — Billy Loomis, “Scream”
“The zombies were having fun / The party had just begun.” — Bobby “Boris” Pickett, “Monster Mash”
“Every day is Hal”There’s only 365 days left until next Halloween!” – The Nightmare Before Christmas
“Never trust the living.” – Beetlejuice
“Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.” – Bill Waterson
“Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you.” — Classics IV, “Spooky”
“I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.” – Gomez, The Addams Family
“Where my ghouls at?” – Monster Highloween, isn’t it? For some of us.” – Tim Burton
“Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” – Steve Almond
“That’s the problem. He was dead to begin with.” – Ichabod Crane, Sleepy Hollow
“A mask tells us more than a face.” – Oscar Wilde, Irish Poet
“Energy vampires love a good road trip.” — Colin Robinson, “What We Do in the Shadows”
“If you’ve got it, haunt it.” – Rose Pressey
“I’m a mouse, duh.” – Mean Girls
“It’s alive!” – Frankenstein
“I put a spell on you because you’re mine.”- Jay Hawkins
“Never trust the living.” – Beetlejuice
“On Halloween you get to become anything that you want to be.” – Ava Dellaria
“It’s all just a bunch of hocus pocus.” – Max, Hocus Pocus
“I went trick-or-treating and all I got was a bag full of rocks.” — Charlie Brown
“It reeks of children!” – Mary Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
“The soul remains one, shared by two.” — Red, “Us”
“I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try.” — Michael Jackson, “Thriller”
“Round about the cauldron go; In the poison’d entrails throw.” — William Shakespeare, “Macbeth”
“Listen to them—the children of the night. What music they make!” – Bram Stoker
“I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed.” – Rihanna
“Sticky fingers, tired feet; one last house, trick or treat!” – Rusty Fischer
“The circles under your eyes … how lovely you look today!” — Lily Munster, “The Munsters”
“Good evening, Clarice.” — Dr. Hannibal Lecter, “The Silence of the Lambs”
“Have you come to sing pumpkin carols?” – Linus, It’s the Great Pumpkin
“The boy. Is he dead, too?” — Alice Hardy, “Friday the 13th”
“It’s a full moon tonight. That’s why all the weirdos are out.” – Dani, Hocus Pocus
“They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious, and spooky.” – Andrew Gold
“Waiting for an invitation to arrive / Goin’ to a party where no one’s still alive.” — Oingo Boingo,
“Where there is no imagination there is no horror.” – Arthur Conan Doyle
“Spooky, scary skeletons / Send shivers down your spine.” — Andrew Gold
“It’s Halloween; everyone’s entitled to one good scare.” – Brackett, Halloween
“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” — Jack Torrance, “The Shining”
“I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.” – Wednesday Addams, The Addams Family
“Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.” – Edgar Allan Poe
“Come and play with us, Danny. Forever … and ever … and ever.” — The Grady Twins, “The Shining”
“Be afraid, be very afraid.” – Ronnie, The Fly
“You’re going to Camp Blood, ain’t ya? — Crazy Ralph, “Friday the 13th”
“And to think, if it weren’t for you … I never would’ve danced at all.” — Red “Us”
“Werewolves howl. Phantoms prowl. Halloween’s upon us now.” – Richelle E. Goodrich
“Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.” – Mason Cooley
“You’re afraid right now, aren’t ya?” — Indrid Cold, “The Mothman Prophecies”
“You ever feel prickly things on the back of your neck? — Cole Sear, “The Sixth Sense”
“I be the witch of the wood.” — Thomasin, “The Witch”
“Whatever you do … don’t fall asleep.” — Nancy Thompson, “A Nightmare on Elm Street”
“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” – L.M. Montgomery
“It’s Halloween. Everyone’s entitled to one good scare.” — Leigh Brackett, “Halloween”
“There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask.” – Collette
“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” — William Shakespeare, “The Tempest”
“I’m wicked through and through.” – Elphaba, Wicked
“You are all my children now.” — Freddy Krueger
“Don’t hang up on me.” — Ghostface, “Scream”
“Well, fancy! We desire children.” – Winifred Sanderson, Hocus Pocus
So that is it for our list of Funny Halloween Captions. We hope you found the perfect one for you!
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.