Short Funny Happy Birthday Wishes to Add Humor to the Celebration

When that special day rolls around and you want something quick and clever, we have gathered all the best funny happy birthday wishes for your next post. And if you’re looking for short happy birthday wishes for Instagram, we also have you covered.

Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.

Short Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

Great news! You’re still alive! Happy birthday!

One year closer to being that old guy who yells at kids Get off my lawn! Everyone loves that guy!

You’re not old!… Oh, no wait, actually you are, sorry about that… Happy birthday!

It’s better to be over the hill than buried under it.

Birthdays are like vacations: infrequent and fleeting.

Remember, age is like underwear – it creeps up on you when you least expect it.

If you got stung by a jellyfish, I would totally pee on you. That’s how much you mean to me.

A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Super glad you were born.

Every day we celebrate you… but today, you get a card.

Wow, another year under your belt. Just let me know how old we’re telling people you are now?

You suck at aging! Can you at least try to look older? Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday — I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me!

Cheers to another year of making questionable decisions together!

I can’t tell if life is passing us by or trying to run us over. HBD!

Happy birthday! Don’t forget to iron that birthday suit.

Don’t forget to smile uncomfortably when the whole family sings you Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday! I’m really glad you were born today. My life would be so totally boring without you there to watch.

Party hard, but maybe bring a second set of underwear with you this time hahaha.

Happiest of birthdays to she she to my Nanigans!

How do two pickle friends celebrate each other? They relish their birthdays.

A little advice on your special day, there is no shame in the Botox game. Happy birthday!

It’s your birthday! I’m bringing the fire extinguisher!

Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.

Happy birthday best friend! Here’s to another year of laughing at our own jokes, dealing with stupid people and keeping each other sane!

Another day older is another day to chug more cake. Happy Birthday.

Remember, age is just a number. In your case, a really, really high one.

I smell old people! Oh, wait no that’s just you. Happy birthday!

On the occasion of your birthday, here are some words of wisdom just for you. Make sure to keep on smiling, while you still have teeth!

Congratulations on the level-up!

They say the older you get, the wiser you become. So, at your age, you must be the wisest person I know… or at least the one with the most birthdays.

Is it hotter in here than usual? Must be all the candles on your cake. Happy birthday!

Since it’s your birthday, I’ll tell you now you’re a real catch. Fishing you a reel-y happy birthday!

Happy birthday to one of the only people I can actually tolerate on a daily basis! Well, most days.

You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!

Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday queen.

On your birthday I thought I’d just let you in on a little secret.

Older? Definitely. Wiser? …mmm debatable. Happy Birthday!

A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age.

The secret to staying young is make up… Make up an age, then stick with it! Happy Birthday!

Have a drink for me on your birthday! Or two…or four!

Like an iPhone, you upgrade each year!

Happy birthday to one old lady who still knows how to party! You rock!

You know what they say about more candles… A bigger wish! Happy Birthday.

I hope you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one: naked and screaming.

Another year, another candle on the cake. At this rate, your cake is going to need its own fire extinguisher.

Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!

Cheers to the one who knows all my secrets and still decides to be seen in public with me. Happy birthday, bestie!

On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship… and all that stuff that doesn’t cost anything. Happy Birthday!

You may not be able to fold a fitted sheet, but otherwise you’re pretty cool. Happy birthday!

You’re turning the perfect age. You’re old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more.

Like cheese and fine wine, you’re only getting better with time!

My birthday wish for you is that your hangover tomorrow isn’t too bad.

Happy Birthday! For your special day I made you a cake. BOOM YOU’RE A CAKE! You’re so very welcome.

May you live to be so old that the very sight of you terrifies babies and ex-lovers. Happy birthday!

You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!

I would have made you a funny card, but I know at your age bladder control can be a problem…

Happy birthday to a real life Insta baddie.

May you live so long your wrinkles have wrinkles. Happy birthday!

We’re both getting old, but who’s counting? Happy birthday!

What did one veggie say to the other on its birthday? Ha pea birthday.

Let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night. Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday to you. In your honor I will refrain from doing the Whip and Nae Nae dance!

You aren’t old, you’re a classic!

It’s so great that my crazy really vibes with your weird. Happy birthday!

It’s your birthday, the anniversary of the day you triumphantly escaped from your mother’s womb. So, that’s pretty cool.

Everyone gets to be young once. Today it’s official, your turn is over. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday and keep up the good work getting older!

Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.

Happy birthday! You’re like a fine wine—getting older only makes you more valuable and smell a little funky!

One minute, you’re young and fun. The next, you have a favorite burner on the stove. I think we both know which you are… Happy birthday!

If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to someone who is not only a year older but also a year closer to qualifying for the senior discount. Enjoy the perks, ancient one!

In dog years you’re dead. Happy birthday to a man’s best friend!

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Happy birthday! You know you’re getting old when you can’t remember how old you are. So, how old are you again?

Happy birthday to someone who’s aging like a fine cheese, getting stinkier and more delicious with each passing year!

You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct! Happy birthday!

Last year your birthday cake looked like a prairie fire! Keep adding those candles!

Happy birthday to the person who has seen me at my best, my worst, and my weirdest… and still loves me anyway! You’re stuck with me for life!

I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up.

Happy birthday to a guy who still isn’t showing his age… And definitely not acting it.

Happy birthday! I’m so pleased to hear you’re over the hill instead of under it.

You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct!

They say the older you are, the wiser you become. At this rate, you’re basically Socrates!

Be careful. Too many birthdays will kill you. Happy birthday!

I just want to say on your special day, thanks for always being older than me.

Happy Birthday to someone who doesn’t quite look as old as a dried up prune yet.

Like the clothes we covet, you’re not old, but vintage! Happy birthday!

Those aren’t gray hairs you see. They’re strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.

I wouldn’t say you’re old… you’ve just been young for longer than most of us. Happy birthday!

I’d give you my last chicken nugget. That’s really saying something. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday! I think it’s great… How you used to be young.

If things get better with age, then you’re approaching magnificent! Happy Birthday.

Happy birthday from the one who endures your farts and loves you all the same.

It’s time to get this party started! But seriously, let’s get a move on—we both know you can’t stay up past 10 p.m.

It’s your birthday, you know what that means. Time for you to smile awkwardly while friends and family botch your birthday song. Good times!

Thanks for being such a great guy! Great big, that is. Happy birthday!

For your special day, I’ve sent you a truly gracious present. It’s a ghost hug! You can’t feel it, but it is definitely there!

Pst, don’t grow up! It’s a trap. Happy birthday!

You’re not getting older; you’re just upgrading to a version with more ‘wisdom’ and fewer ‘teeth.’

Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit. But make sure you check it for wrinkles first!

I mean, you have ME so I don’t know what else you have to wish for… but go off I guess…

To an amazing friend on their birthday, my only regret is not meeting you sooner so I could have annoyed you longer.

Happy Birthday! When I grow up I want to be just like you… But hopefully with more hair!

For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life. Happy Birthday!

Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. You’re doing pretty well!

Happy National [Name] Day!

Happy Birthday from one fabulous gal to another!

Your birthday is the perfect excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up!

Smart, good looking, and funny! But enough about me. Happy birthday!

I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday! You don’t look a day older than dirt!

Birthdays are like golfing — it’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count!

May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it.

It’s your party and you’ll cry if you want to; however, I don’t recommend it.

You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, bestie! Remember, age is just a number, but in your case, it’s a really high one. Just kidding – you’re like a fine wine, getting better with age. Or maybe just fermented. Cheers!

Happy Birthday to the greatest female homosapien to ever walk the planet! Evolution stopped when it created you!

Congratulations on reaching an age where your back goes out more than you do! Happy birthday, and may your joints be as flexible as your sense of humor.

Let them eat cake. And by them, I mean you!

Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. Happy Birthday.

Happy birthday, bestie! Here’s a long life together, so we can be 100 and still gossiping like teens.

Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It’s your birthday, just drink whatever’s in the glass!

Have you heard? In banana years, you’re ripe enough for bread!

Whoever said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks never met you.

Happy Birthday to someone who doesn’t know how to load a dishwasher or fill the gas tank on her car!

What goes up but never comes down? Your age.

Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a number, but wrinkles are real estate for wisdom!

Happy birthday! We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile… then, we’ll be new friends!

Celebrate your birthday like a cat: by turning up the mewsic.

Happy Easter. Christmas. Independence Day. You know what? Just eat your darn cake!

Birthdays are a lot like golf… It’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count. Happy birthday!

At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober… Disappoint them. Happy Birthday!

A lady never reveals her…um… age. Yah, that sounds right. Happy birthday, lady!

You’re the Thelma to my Louise, the Snoop to my Martha, and the Selena to my Taylor.

Age is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!

Happy birthday to a lifelong friend! I can’t wait until we’re old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together!

Here’s to many more rotations around the sun. May you live to be old and toothless

Don’t let old age get you down! It’s way to hard to get back up. Happy birthday, man!

Happy Birthday to someone who is comparable to fine wine and aged cheese. You get better with age!

Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.

Happy Womb Emigration Day.

So that is it for our list of Short Funny Happy Birthday Wishes. We hope you found the perfect one!

If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Happy Birthday Puns, Happy Birthday Wishes for Friends, Funny Friendship Quotes, Hilarious Family Quotes, Funny Birthday Captions and Birthday Captions for Yourself.