The best friends are the ones you can laugh with, which is why we have put together a list of all the best short funny friend quotes for your next post. And if you’re looking for short funny friend sayings for Instagram, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Short Hilarious Friendship Quotes
“Never let your best friends get lonely…keep disturbing them.” — Candlelight Publications
“‘Are we going to be friends forever?’ asked Piglet. ‘Even longer,’ Pooh answered.” ― A.A. Milne
“Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” ― Samuel Butler
“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” ― Abraham Lincoln
“Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!” ― Bronwyn Polson
“A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.” ― Markus Zusak
“Never contract friendship with a man that is not better than thyself.” — Confucius
“Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.” ― Otto von Bismarck
“A friend to all is a friend to none.” ― Aristotle
“My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.” ― Matt Schucker
“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” ― Henry Ford
“Friendship is a wildly underrated medication.” — Anna Deavere Smith
“No one is a friend to his friend who does not love in return.” — Plato
“‘Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.” — Charles Lamb
“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.” — Mark Twain
“A friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.” — Frances Ward Weller
“Friendship consists in forgetting what one gives and remembering what one receives.” ― Alexandre Dumas
“True friendship is trading photos from toilets.” ― Mike Wehner
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” ― Bernard Meltzer
“A messy house is a must – it separates your true friends from other friends.” ― Jennifer Wilson
“A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.” ― Len Wein
“I don’t need another friend. I already have two. How many more friends does a guy need?” — Freaks and Geeks, 2000
“True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together.” ― Emilie Saint-Genis
“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” — Arnold H. Glasgow
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” ― C.S. Lewis
“It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” — Marlene Dietrich
“Love is friendship that has caught fire.” — Ann Landers
“It takes a long time to grow an old friend.” ― John Leonard
“Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” ― C.S. Lewis
“Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected.” ― C. J. Langenhoven
“We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.” ― William Somerset Maugham
“It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them and important to the friendship that we are not.” ― Mignon McLaughlin
“I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.” ― Robert Brault
“Friendship is being there when someone’s feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.” — Randy K. Milholland
“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ― A.A. Milne
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ― Elbert Hubbard
“If you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.” ― S.E. Hinton
“True caring friends are a gift; be careful not to tear the wrapping when you open it.” ― RJ Intindola
“Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.” ― Mandy Hale
“The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist.” ― Aaron Machado
“If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.” ― Oprah Winfrey
“Friends are the siblings God never gave us.” — Mencius
“True friends walks in when the rest of the world has walked out.” ― Walter Winchell
“True friends fiercely debate issues and still walk away as friends.” ― Frank Sonnenberg
“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” ― Sarah Desse
“Fan the sinking flame of hilarity with the wing of friendship; and pass the rosy wine.” — Charles Dickens
“We are keenly aware of the faults of our friends, but if they like us enough it doesn’t matter.” ― Mignon McLaughlin
“… a true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear.” ― E.A. Bucchianeri
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” ― Jim Morrison
“Candor is a compliment; it implies equality. It’s how true friends talk.” ― Peggy Noonan
“There is a reason why you are my best friend. Destiny.” ― Almira Bastari
“Some people only get called by their nicknames. Usually, it sounds weird to even say their real name.” ― Kishore
“If you are ever lucky enough to find a weirdo, never let them go.” — Matthew Gray Gubler
“I am always saying ‘Glad to’ve met you’ to somebody I’m not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.” ― J.D. Salinger
“It’s not that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but it’s your best friends who are your diamonds.” — Gina Barreca
“I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends – they’re the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!” ― Warren G. Harding
“The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” ― Mark Twain
“Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.” ― Richelle Mead
“Friends make you smile — best friends make you giggle ’til you pee your pants.” ― Terri Guillemets
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” ― Joan Powers
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” ― Mark Twain
“I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.” ― Ann Richards
“A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.” ― Jim Hayes
“There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.” ― J.K. Rowling
“Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.” ― Patrick to Spongebob
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson
“Part of the journey in life is slipping and falling along the way; in these times true friends are the ones who pick you up and dust you off.” ― Ken Poirot
“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.” ― Sylvia Plath
“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.” ― Jay McInerney
“Friends are the family you choose.” — Jess C. Scott
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.” — Marx
“The friend that always finds time to spend with you without consulting his or her calendar is a true friend.” ― Ellen J. Barrier
“I’ll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends—and my friends are hilarious.” — Issa Rae
“True friends chop the onions and cry together.” ― Ljupka Cvetanova
“I’m so jealous. That’s it. I’ve got to get some dumb, ugly friends.” ― Gilmore Girls
“A good friend will always stab you in the front.” — Oscar Wilde
“The best mirror is an old friend.” ― George Herbert
“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.” — Jim Henson
“No friendship is an accident.” — O. Henry
“To like and dislike the same things, that is what makes a solid friendship.” — Sallust
“Friends are relatives you make for yourself.” ― Eustache Deschamps
“Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.” — Bill Watterson
“Talk between women friends is always therapy…” ― Jayne Anne Phillips
“Don’t regret about growing old my friend, we can share memories and each day renew our friendship.” — Catherine Pulsifer
“Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.” ― Edwin Arlington Robinson
“You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” ― Laurence J. Peter
“One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.” — George Carlin
“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” — Woodrow T. Wilson
“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” — Euripides
“A friend may be waiting behind a stranger’s face.” — Maya Angelou
“Best friends are life’s truth tellers.” ― T.J. Condon
“A true friend doesn’t have guts; they beat you up and later plead with you to beat them back.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” ― Arnold H. Glasgow
“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.” — Sicilian Proverb
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.” ― Benjamin Franklin
“Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.” — Henry Brooks Adams
“Marriage: a friendship recognized by the police.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
“A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.” — Donna Roberts
“A true friend makes your problem their problem.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” ― Greg Tamblyn
“Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” ― Robert Brault
“A good friend is a connection to life — a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” ― Lois Wyse
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Funny Family Quotes, Funny Anniversary Wishes, Funny Happy Birthday Wishes and One Line Friend Quotes.
Short Funny Friend Sayings
Here’s to the friend who puts the “pop” in popcorn.
Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.
Finding friends with the same mental disorder. Priceless!!
When life gives you lemons, don’t be afraid to squeeze them into haters’ eyes.
Friends are the family you choose.
Friends don’t let friends do stupid things. Alone.
You think my cat is crazy? You should see my best friend at 2 am.
Friends pick us up when we fall down, and if they can’t pick us up, they lie down and listen for a while.
I’m already bringing myself, and you expect a board game, too?
Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.
I’ll choose friendships over relationships any day. Sisters before misters!
A true friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.
Good friends, terrible ideas.
Love is blind. Friendship tells you to use a filter.
They say friends are the best therapy, but I don’t think it’s working…
True friends are the people in your life who make you laugh louder, smile brighter and live better.
Crazy copilots make for fun journeys and expected destinations.
You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.
A friend will bail you out of jail; a true friend will be sitting beside you.
I’ll always send you my ugly selfies, and I’ll even let you share them.
You can earn your way into our selfie squad by being a little crazy.
Good friends show their love in times of trouble, not just in times of happiness.
We’ve been friends so long I can’t remember who was the bad influence.
Yeah, my squad is small and full. I go for quality, not quantity. Sorry, but not really!
Of course my friends are crazy. Why else would they spend time with me?
They call us smartasses, but I think they can drop the first part.
Friends are the beaches of life.
A true friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.
I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends
I love you, but if you make me choose between you and pizza… bye!
True friendship is when you walk into their house and your WiFi connects automatically.
You’re sick in the head and a few other places too, but I know I’ll always love you.
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
Best friends share one heart… and maybe one brain, too.
We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
I love that our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.
We’ll be friends ’til we’re old and senile… Then we’ll be new friends!
You don’t have to be crazy to take a selfie with us, but it helps.
We put the Pro in Procrastinate, and make it fun!
So that is it for our list of Short Funny Friend Quotes and Sayings. We hope you found the perfect one!
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.