Short Funny Work Sayings to Add Humor to the Workplace and Make Them Laugh

Work is a lot more enjoyable when you can have a little fun with it, which is why we have put together a list of all the best short funny work sayings for your next post. And if you’re looking for short funny work sayings for Instagram, we also have you covered.

Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.

Short Funny Work Sayings

My keyboard is my instrument, and I’m composing the symphony of hard work.

Work-life balance is like a unicorn; often discussed, rarely spotted.

I have a great work-life balance: 70% work, 30% pretending to work.

I’m not stressed. I’m just trying to figure out how to avoid working.

My workday starts after my coffee ends.

Our office doesn’t gossip; we distribute essential company news.

Coworkers make work interesting-sometimes for reasons we cannot explain

Teamwork is dreamwork, and dreams are mostly weird.

Stress level: Trying to fold a fitted sheet.

I’m not stressed. I’m just passionately chaotic.

My computer asked me to start ‘living’ today. I think it needs an update.

Working hard or hardly working? Why not both?

Teamwork makes the dream work…unless your team sucks.

My paycheck is like a magic trick, one minute it’s there and the next—poof—gone.

I wear a suit because my job is serious, but my heart says sweatpants.

Who needs a work-life balance when you have free office snacks?

My team is great. We work together like an old car: it takes time to get started

The best part of coming to work is going home at the end of the day.

Work smarter, not harder—unless you’re trying to impress your boss.

My coffee mug may be half empty, but my job satisfaction is full… of sarcasm.

Stress? That’s just my adult word for ‘too much adulting.

I need a 6-month vacation, twice a year.

My team follows a strict diet: we swallow our pride.

Office coffee is like office gossip—strong, bitter, and never enough.

Work hard, dream big, and keep your Wi-Fi signal strong.

I don’t have time to manage my time; I’m too busy trying to manage my distractions.

Productivity is just procrastination with deadlines.

I’m not antisocial; I’m just selectively social. Mainly, I select not to.

Stress is the secret ingredient to a successful workday.

My job taught me the art of the invisible: doing nothing and looking busy.

I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

I don’t wear the same clothes to work every day. I wear pajamas to work every day.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

I’ve tried yoga, but I find stress less boring.

They say time flies when you’re having fun. Is that why this work year felt like a century?

Another year down and you’re still the reigning champion of the ‘longest lunch break’. Congrats!

I follow my passion at work—the passion for not working overtime.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. — Douglas Adams

My boss said I intimidate others. I said, ‘Good, I’m doing my job.’

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Hard work is its own reward after the coffee kicks in.

I communicate best through sarcastic emails and passive-aggressive notes.

Why work harder when you can work smarter…and blame it on your coworkers?

My office dress code is: business on the top, pajamas on the bottom.

A meeting is an event where minutes are kept and hours are lost.

The walk from my desk to the break room was nice. I might go on vacation there again tomorrow.

At work, I’m as stealthy as a cat. Nobody notices me until I step on a computer mouse.

Some people graduate with honors; I am just honored to graduate.

I used up all my sick leave, so I called in dead.

Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed.

Our team is environmentally friendly: we recycle all our unused ideas.

This meeting could have been an email.

I’m just here to collect a paycheck

Procrastinators unite…tomorrow.

Keep calm and pretend this is on the lesson plan.

Sometimes my greatest work accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.

I don’t get paid enough to care this much.

I love the sound of ‘we need to talk’ in emails.

Work hard in silence; let your coffee machine make the noise.

My co-worker’s spirit animal is a sloth on vacation.

I’m not overworked. I’m just underpaid for what I do.

Balance is having the same amount of coffee in your cup as hours slept last night.

In search of my job’s autosave feature. Lost my motivation somewhere around here.

I’m not a workaholic. I’m work-frolic because I dance through the chaos.

Work-life balance? I’m more of a ‘work-life comedy’ person.

I love my job, it’s the work I’m not fond of.

Monday is the day I like to gift myself a second coffee to pretend I’m energized.

I love long meetings. It gives me time to think about my life decisions.

There’s an ‘I’ in ‘team’ if you look hard enough in the reflection of my coffee cup.

I work because I love money. Just kidding, I love avoiding stress.

My co-worker’s stapler is more dependable than Monday’s motivational meeting.

A job is like a relationship; it’s complicated, but you stick around for the perks.

We need to invent a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Let me Google that real quick to pretend I know what I’m doing.

After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.

Some days, the best thing about the job is that the chair spins.

We’re like a sports team; I’m not sure what kind, but definitely one that doesn’t win much.

A team is a machine with many parts: I’m the off switch.

Why work harder when you can work smarter…and blame it on your coworkers?

Work stress is just my brain doing push-ups.

Nothing makes you more productive than the last minute.

I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me.

I’m out here living my best life, one spreadsheet at a time.

I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem.

Sorry for the delay, I was too busy replying to my other 100 emails.

Email communication: where ‘please see attached’ is code for ‘I haven’t done this yet.’

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.

The best part of my job is that the coffee is free.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, and motivation.

Emails are like gremlins; they multiply by the night and feast on my sanity.

Lunch breaks are like adult recess. The slide is now a sandwich.

Overworked and underpaid. Is that the American Dream?

Appreciate your job, not many people can look this busy doing nothing.

I asked my co-worker to be more specific. They sent me a detailed blank stare.

Office gossip is the duct tape of coworker relationships.

Teamwork: the art of making someone else do your work.

My idea of a perfect workday is one where no work happens.

Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. But then again, I wasn’t the one in charge.

My daily work routine: Rush, panic, eat lunch, repeat.

Success is 99% coffee and 1% avoiding coworkers.

I practice work stress yoga. It’s just like regular yoga, but with more screaming.

I’m working hard so my future dog can have a backyard.

Teamwork makes the dream work, except when you have that one coworker.

Multitasking: The art of stressing about many things all at once.

I would like to work less, but I’m addicted to Netflix.

Work attire: the art of looking like you tried without actually trying.

Work is the curse of the drinking class. — Oscar Wilde

Bosses are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.

I’m not running late, I’m just early for tomorrow.

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you’re done.

Work-life balance? Sorry, no results found. Try again.

If work was so great, the rich would have kept it for themselves.

Stress at work? I prefer the term ‘extreme career enthusiasm.’

We’re a green office. We recycle jokes every day.

I have a healthy work-life balance. It’s 80% coffee, 20% cake.

I love the work-life balance…especially the part where I don’t work.

Lunch break: the time to discuss what you’re going to eat for dinner.

The only time I’m on time is when I’m waiting for the clock to strike 5.

Some people work hard. Others are hardly working.

Coffee: because adulting is hard.

Organized people are just too lazy to look for their things.

The problem with communication is the ‘other person’.

The ‘I’ in ‘team’ is hidden in the A-hole. Makes sense for our group.

Work clothes? More like, ‘How long can I wear the same shirt before it starts to smell?’

My office culture? Pretend to work while others pretend to care.

Work: where I’m forward-looking, just toward weekends.

Work: where your computer reminds you that your storage is full, just like your patience.

Happy Workiversary! You’ve officially stayed longer than the office plants!

One more year of being the office’s favorite coffee fetcher. Cheers to that!

My job is 90% staring at screens, 10% panicking about deadlines.

My dream job is one where I don’t have to work.

There’s no ‘I’ in team, but there is a ‘me’.

Deadlines are like vampires—they suck the life out of you.

I didn’t work this hard to be this broke.

Ctrl + Alt + Delete: The universal work reset button.

Time management is a great way to spend time managing your time.

My computer screen is a magic mirror that says I need more sleep.

Teamwork: because we can blame each other for everything.

I’m the best team player. I delegate everything to others.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

Success is like a unicorn; it takes a bit of magic and a lot of belief.

Our team works best like a silent movie – no talking, just wild gesticulations.

Our bosses might not always get it, but here’s how we feel about them:

My favorite part of working is the 2 pm snack.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

I stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about.

Some say the key to balance is moderation. I say it’s the mute button on conference calls.

I work hard because my dreams are big, but my bank account is small.

Today I will work hard and complain about it just as hard.

I love teamwork. It lets you blame someone else for eating the last donut.

Dear Monday, nobody likes you. Stop showing up uninvited.

I’m just here to collect a paycheck.

I survived another meeting that could have been a text.

I’m all about balance. 80% work, 20% looking at cat videos.

A good office is like a good sandwich—full of stuff you like and things you don’t care about.

My work is so much fun, I forget I’m working—until I look at my paycheck.

My keyboard must be broken; pressing ‘Escape’ doesn’t take me anywhere.

Work snacks are the secret to surviving the day.

They say there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team,’ but there’s definitely a ‘me’ if you look hard enough.

Our team bond is strong. It’s like super glue; it takes forever to come apart and leaves a residue.

Life without coffee is like a broken pencil—pointless.

The coffee machine is the real meeting room where all decisions are made.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

My team’s spirit animal is a sloth – we stick together slowly but surely.

I’m not slacking off. My job is just in energy-saving mode.

I’m multitasking: procrastinating and being unproductive at the same time.

Why do it today when it can be a panic-inducing emergency tomorrow?

My workday: 80% trying to be productive, 20% checking if it’s the weekend yet.

Being the boss just means you have more people to blame when things go wrong.

I have a strong relationship with office coffee, but it’s complicated.

Mondays are proof that weekends are way too short.

I work hard because my boss lets me…when they’re not watching.

Work: where your dreams of a clutter-free desk go to die.

Technology is great…until it crashes during a meeting.

Jobs are like toddlers, if it’s too quiet, you know something’s wrong.

Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.

I would quit, but I’m too broke to go anywhere else.

We’re a finely tuned team. I bring the chaos, they handle the panic.

My job is a comedy of errors, I just need a laugh track.

Coworkers: the people you share a cubicle with and an endless group chat you can’t leave.

Working as a team means half the work and twice the credit.

I love my job, but my office is more of a hostage situation.

You’ve put up with us for another year, and all you got was this lousy card. Happy anniversary!

My job is a lot like gardening, I plant seeds and hope something grows.

My career plan: make coffee, work, retire.

Deadlines are just my boss’s way of saying he believes in my time travel skills.

Is it casual Friday yet? Because my spirit animal is a pair of sweatpants.

My coffee is demanding a raise for dealing with my work stress.

Nothing says teamwork like awkward silences and muted microphones.

I have an ambition to sleep eight hours a day, whatever that is.

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel

Great teamwork is like a good marriage—lots of patience, understanding, and distractions.

Congrats on surviving another year without being fired!

If nothing is impossible, I’ve been doing the impossible for years.

Whoever said you can’t have it all clearly never tried to balance a laptop on a treadmill.

I plan to do absolutely nothing all day and still somehow manage to be late.

Deadlines are suggestions, right?

The first 5 days of the week are the hardest.

Work-life balance is a myth, like clean offices or free lunch.

If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.

I’m not sure what my job is, but I’m pretty good at pretending.

Congratulations on another 365 days of skillfully evading the ‘when are you leaving?’ question!

My team is great. We work together like an old car: it takes time to get started.

I’m out of my mind. Be back in 5 minutes.

Group projects helped me understand why Batman works alone.

Behind every successful employee is a substantial amount of coffee.

When life gives you Mondays, go back to bed.

I’m calling out for tomorrow. I don’t have enough brain cells to show up.

When laughter echoes through the office, productivity soars.

Coffee: the only reason I show up to work.

I wish my job had a snooze button.

I always bring a notebook to meetings. It makes people think I care.

I’ve got 99 problems, and work-life balance is 98 of them.

Our team is so cohesive, we stick together like gum on a shoe – not always by choice.

The best part about going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

I’ve perfected my job role: professional meeting attendee.

Work hard, nap hard.

So that is it for our list of Short Funny Work Sayings. We hope you found the perfect one for you!

If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Short Funny Work Quotes, Short Funny Positve Quotes, Team Captions, Funny Fall Sayings, Funny Teamwork Quotes and Farewell Messages for Colleagues.