Birthdays can be a lot of fun, especially when you make each other laugh, which is why we have put together a list of all the most hilarious birthday captions for your next post. And if you’re looking for short hilarious birthday quotes for captions, we also have you covered.
Now go ahead and browse through to find your favorite.
Hilarious Birthday Captions
It’s midnight, which means it’s my birthday!
This might be my favorite birthday to date!
Felt cute. Then I remembered it was my birthday and I felt even cuter.
I always make bad decisions on my birthday.
My b-day may be a little different this year, but I’m still feeling just as loved.
Warning: It’s my birthday today!
Happy birthday to the most awesomehuman on this planet—me!
Getting older is just part of life, and the other parts are even worse.
Today, I decided to be a birthday cupcake in a world full of muffins.
On this day, a queen was born.
Loving being smothered with birthday love today.
A woman never reveals her age—especially on her birthday.
I’m not aging, I’m marinating.
It’s my birthday and that’s the tea.
Wishing on candles and chasing my dreams.
Today is my birthday, and I’m riding high.
I don’t usually brag, but when I do, it’s because it’s my birthday.
I have a secret: I’m older today than I was yesterday.
I got the “Happy Birthday” song playing on repeat.
Birthday feels.
Here’s my obligatory birthday selfie!
The best presents one can receive on a birthday are one’s friends’ presence.
You’re so old that when you looked at your birth certificate, it said expired.
Birthday #mood!
I got ready and put on REAL clothes to celebrate my birthday today. #GoMe
Welcome to club birthday!
It’s my birthday and I’ll eat cake if I want to.
Hugs, kisses and birthday wishes.
Lovin’ my birthday glow.
My birthday is today, but I’ll take presents whenever.
Getting my birthday glow on.
Tell me I’m pretty. It’s my birthday.
Had a Zoom-tastic birthday party!
Would it really be my birthday if I didn’t take a selfie?
I can’t stop smiling. It’s my birthday.
Nothing can stop me this year.
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
A little birthday party for me!
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
It’s my birthday and I’ll laugh all I want today.
Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places.
Birthday wishes and butterfly kisses.
Dreaming that tomorrow will be my birthday again.
Thank you, Mom, for giving birth to me.
Today’s the best day of the year: my birthday!
Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
Don’t tell me to act my age because I haven’t been this age before.
Today is all about me!
Gonna party like it’s my birthday…’cause it is.
Another year, another new place that aches.
Sunshine and birthday wishes on my mind.
Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.
My birthday this year might be a mess, but I couldn’t care less. #Blessed
Heaven released a cute angel on this day in some years ago. Happy birthday to me.
My birthday wish is I want more birthday cake!
Wishing I could relive this day over and over again. Happy birthday to me!
Feeling like a princess today and nobody can tell me otherwise.
It’s better to be over the hill than under it.
There’s a sort of birthday magic in the air.
My heart is full this birthday.
My birthday, my rules.
I love nothing more than being the birthday girl!
Postponing my birthday until further notice.
Two things that are inevitable for any living person are birthdays and taxes.
Life’s too short to not eat cake.
Cheers to me!
No wise man ever wished to be younger.
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
Wishing I had s’more birthday wishes.
Not wasting a single second of my birthday today.
Best. Age. Ever.
Happy birthday to the other 17.7 million people who are celebrating their birthday today.
Birthdays are bigger in Texas.
The more birthdays one has, the more difficult it becomes to remember all of them.
Making my birthday wish.
Calories don’t count today because it’s my birthday!
Jumping into this birthday headfirst.
Birthday hair and I don’t care.
This is the year my dreams will come true.
We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
Happy birthday to myself and I.
Guess I’ll be singing “Happy Birthday” to myself this year.
Love is the best birthday present.
Found my birthday crown.
Pop the bubbly, it’s my birthday!
Feeling cute, might celebrate my birthday later.
Is that a gray hair? Happy birthday to me.
Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.
Life is a journey and I’m enjoying every mile of it.
If I appear to be in a great mood today, don’t be alarmed. It’s my birthday!
Eating cake like it’s my job today.
I didn’t choose this birthday, this birthday chose me.
Zoom-ing into my birthday week!
Let me be the first one to wish myself a happy birthday!
Is it me, or am I aging backward?
Birthday are never overrated.
I hope my birthday cake is as yummy as me.
Blow up the balloons and bring out the cake. Today is my big day!
My birthday should be a holiday.
Happy birthday to the most awesome human on this planet—me!
Feelin’ blessed.
Ditching the gym and eating cake. Happy birthday to me!
Celebrating this big day with all my faves.
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling you to eat more cake.
It’s better to be one month older than one month late!
Birthday vibes all around.
It’s my birthday; I can wine if I want to.
I think this will be my favorite age yet!
Getting my birthday glam on!
Today, I’m going to party like it’s my birthday. Oh wait, it is!
My birthday is tomorrow…just in case anyone was wondering.
Just went on my annual birthday shopping spree!
Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me.
It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Today I’m just a whole year more incredibler.
It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
I have no shopping budget today, it’s my birthday!
Keep calm…it’s my birthday!
You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by for your age.
Peace, love and birthday fun!
Thanking God for being alive. Happy birthday to me.
To those who didn’t greet me “happy birthday” today, you’ll be unfriended tomorrow.
Today’s the day I can wear this birthday crown!
Life’s too short to not celebrate every chance you get! Happy Birthday to me!
Smiling into my birthday week!
Peace, love and birthday cake.
Blessed to see another year.
Let the birthday shenanigans begin!
Staring my birthday celebrations early this year!
The younger you try to look, the older you actually are.
Turn my birthday into a lifestyle.
Every birthday is an opportunity to start with a clean slate.
Today is a whole new chapter! Happy birthday to me.
Harder, better, faster, stronger.
Birthday girl/boy at your service!
I decided to keep having birthdays because it beats the alternative… Death.
Birthday magic.
On your birthday you get to have your cake and eat it too.
Another birthday? No problem.
Happy birthday to me!
The best birthday present of all is love.
Half birthdays deserve celebrations too!
My birthday looks a little different this year.
Happy birthday to the funniest person I know — me.
Telling everyone in sight that it’s my birthday!
Feeling cute. Maybe it’s my birthday glow.
If you see this, you should know it’s my birthday.
I can’t help being cute, I’m the birthday girl.
Move over coffee, today is a day for champagne.
Feeling like a million bucks this birthday.
Why so many candles for such a small cake? I guess I’m getting old.
If you’re reading this, it’s my birthday.
Today was amazing. I think the fact that it was my birthday made it 99% better.
At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.
Everyone has birthdays. I’m glad mine is today.
Life’s too short to not celebrate every chance you get. Happy birthday to me!
I have a craving for cake…It must be my birthday week.
Dear me, happy birthday!
Treating myself to a day filled with doing nothing.
The older you get, the more disoriented your hair gets. Once it leaves your head, it seems to get lost.
Announcement: Today is my birthday!
My birthday is today, but I’ll take presents whenever.
It’s proven by science that the more birthdays you celebrate, the longer you live.
Good news: Today is my birthday!
It feels like I’ve only aged 1 year since my last birthday.
Taking the day off. It’s my birthday.
Treating myself to a day filled with doing nothing. #BirthdayWish
A birthday party without cake is just a meeting.
Ready to celebrate another birthday milestone.
Work hard. Play hard. Eat cake. That’s now my life and birthday motto.
It’s my favorite holiday…my birthday!
Some things are better with age. Too bad you aren’t one of them.
Birthday candles aren’t the only things getting lit this weekend.
Here’s to another year where I can grace everyone with my presence.
I’m kind of a big deal today. Happy birthday to me.
My birthday selfie game is strong.
Today is the most important day of my life. And I’m going to celebrate it accordingly. Happy birthday to me.
Happy moments. Happy thoughts. Happiest birthday ever
My birthday week starts…now!
Let me be the first one to wish myself a happy birthday!
Making my years count instead of counting the years.
Did someone say it’s my birthday?!
Who’s ready to celebrate my birthday?
Surround yourself with people who are more excited for your birthday than you are.
Born to shine, especially today.
The old pessimist focuses on his growing number. The old optimist focuses on his growing blessings.
It might be the cake talking, but I love birthday parties.
Everyday is worth celebrating, but especially today because it’s my birthday.
There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are simply anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Funny Birthday Quotes, Funny Family Quotes, Funny Anniversary Wishes, Happy Birthday Puns and Happy Birthday Wishes for Friends.
Short Hilarious Birthday Quotes for Captions
“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” — Ogden Nash
“To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.” — Bernard Baruch
“Age is a high price to pay for maturity.” — Tom Stoppard
“All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.” — George Harrison
“The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.” — Robert Orben
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” — Steven Wright
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” — Kitty Collins
“Just remember once you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.” — Charles Schultz
“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” — Chili Davis
“From our birthday, until we die, is but the winking of an eye.” — William Butler Yeats
“For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.” — John Glenn
“The first hundred years are the hardest.” — Wilson Mizner
“Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.” — Rodney Dangerfield
“Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” — Nicky Gumbel
“Don’t just count your years, make your years count.” — George Meredith
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball
“The older you get the better you get, unless you are a banana.” — Betty White
“Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.” — Stanislaw Lec
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” — Mahatma Gandhi
“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” — Bob Hope
“Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.” — Booth Tarkington
“Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.” — Faith Baldwin
“That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.” — Bob Hope
“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” — George Burns
“It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.” – Brigitte Bardot
“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Jack Benny
You don’t get older, you get better. — Shirley Bassey
“Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” — Billie Burke
“If you survive long enough, you’re revered-rather like an old building.” — Katherine Hepburn
So that is it for our list of Short Hilarious Birthday Captions and Quotes. We hope you found the perfect one!
About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.