Have you ever had one of those Thursdays where you need a good laugh? We think that when it comes to Thursday quotes, funny ones will make your day brighter and help make your whole week more enjoyable! This collection of funny Thursday quotes includes some funny Thursday sayings. You’ve been working hard all week, so it’s time to ease the battle fatigue and tuck in with a hearty chuckle and have a good laugh with these funny quotes.
Short Funny Thursday Quotes for Instagram
“Thursday comes and the week’s gone.” ― George Herbert
“This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.” ― Douglas Adams
“Playing on a Thursday and then a Sunday is not a problem.” ― Michael Laudrup
“Thursday, I forecast as mostly sunny. It’s a much-needed break.” ― John Farley
“I wish you a tolerable Thursday. That’s all any of us can hope for.” ― April Winchell
“Thursdays bring a focus to our week to complete all that needs to be done.” ― Byron Pulsifer
“Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday.” ― Rebecca Black
“People should know, understand that not all Thursdays are the same.” ― Percival Everett
“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.” ― Paul Fix
“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” ― Albert Einstein
“I drink to make other people more interesting.” ― Ernest Hemingway
“I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me.” ― Marc Maron
“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.” ― Alexander Woollcott
“I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.” ― Scott Adams
“Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most.” ― Ozzy Ozbourne
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
“My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.” ― Jean Rostand
“Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?” ― John Barrymore
“All men are equal before fish.” ― Herbert Hoover
“A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know.” ― Laurence J. Peter
“Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil.” ― J. Paul Getty
“It’s Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.” ― Demetri Martin
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of funny Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday quotes.
Funny Thursday Morning Quotes
“The best thing about Thursday is that no one calls it hump day.” – Dean Johnston
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook
“Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.” ― Kurt Cobain
“It was a sinking feeling, that feeling when you wake up thinking its Friday only to realize its Thursday.” ― Danielle Poulin
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” — Benjamin Franklin
“Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss
“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.” — Jim Davis
“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” — Lewis Black
“I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.” — Jarod Kintz
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.” — Kristen Chandler
“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” — Dorothy Parker
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.” ― Tony Smite
“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” — Ursula Le Guin
“Mornings are almost clean slates. I say almost because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck on them.” — Medeia Sharif
“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?” — J.R.R. Tolkien
“Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.” — Marlo Thomas
“I hate mornings, they start so early.” — Janet Evanovich
“Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” — Rachel Caine
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.” — James Marsden
“When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.” — Crystal Woods
“I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.” — Kevin Hearne
“Happy Thursday! Life at work and at home is so much HAPPIER when you speak and act with kindness. Share a smile and make it a great day.” ― Tracey Edmonds
Funny Quotes for Thursday
“Thursday is end day in weekend. Today you are so tired, will think about how your week was, and how will go on Thursday. With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything.” ― Wayne Dyer
“Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.” ― Jef Raskin
“Thursday is perhaps the worst day of the week. It’s nothing in itself; it just reminds you that the week has been going on too long” ― Nicci French
“I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” ― Howie Mandel
“The rain visited us last night, making the soil wet with desire. Today the breeze drifted around the trees, serenading the flowers and the breeze. And a few minutes ago, I drank a pint of Whisky to add a spin to my Thursday night!” ― Avijeet Das
“If I love you Wednesday, what is that to you? I do not love you Thursday; so much is true.” ― Edna St. Vincent Millay
“And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.” ― Spike Milligan
“When all else fails, there’s always delusion.” ― Conan O’Brien
“’Be yourself’is about the worst advice you can give some people.” ― Thomas Lansing Masson
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” ― Steve Carell, The Office
“Happy Thursday! You got this! ” ― Tracey Edmonds
“To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.” ― Albert Camus
“I’d far rather be happy than right any day.” ― Douglas Adams
“If you want to be happy, be.” ― Leo Tolstoy
“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.” ― Anne Frank
“Do not set aside your happiness. Do not wait to be happy in the future. The best time to be happy is always now.” ― Roy T. Bennett
“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” ― Omar Khayyam
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” ― Benjamin Franklin
“The mere sense of living is joy enough.” ― Emily Dickinson
“Be happy. It really annoys negative people.” ― Ricky Gervais
“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” ― Rita Mae Brown
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” ― Oscar Wilde
“How many things in your life do you do without realizing that they are a waste of time? Use Thursday to take the time to eliminate time-wasters.” ― Byron Pulsifer
“Make your snacks on Sunday, and you will be good to go until Thursday or so.” ― Summer Sanders
“Do or do not. There is no try.” ― Yoda
“Start your Thursday with an attitude of optimism. It’s going to be a good day!” ― Kate Summers
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” ― Charlie Chaplin
“Thursday is one of the days of the week that I strive to maintain a positive outlook.” ― Byron Pulsifer
“Nothing is impossible. The word itself says “I’m possible!”” ― Audrey Hepburn
“Effort is what is required on Thursday to finish all that needs to be done.” ― Kate Summers
“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” ― Winnie the Pooh
“It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” – Benjamin Dover
“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” ― Yogi Berra
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar
“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” ― A. A. Milne
“And whether it is Thursday or the day is stormy, With thunder and rain, or the birds attack each other, We have rolled into another dream.” ― John Ashbery
“She got the magazine on a Wednesday morning, and on Thursday announced our marriage was over.” ― David Gest
“Wednesday’s child is full of woe, but Thursday’s child has far to go.” ― Elisse Boyd
“Yes, every Thursday he thinks she’s doing SAT prep but really she’s hooking up with Shane Ohman in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anyone that before because I am such a good friend.” ― Gretchen Wieners
“The Thursday night game is by far the most difficult game to prepare for.” ― Matt Cassel
“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” ― Ashleigh Brilliant
“I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.” ― Howie Mandel
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” ― Steven Wright
“Chili, spice of red Thursday, which is the day of reckoning. Day which invites us to pick up the sack of our existence and shake it inside out. Day of suicide, day of murder.” ― Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
“We didn’t even realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun.” – Winnie The Pooh
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” ― Joan Crawford
Thursday is a day transparent as an insect’s wing in the light. Just as Monday is a compact day.” ― Clarice Lispector
“If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” ― Robin Williams
“I became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity.” ― Edgar Allen Poe
“I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.” ― Sarah Rees Brennan
“As the end of the week approaches, Thursday should be a day for persistence not inconsistence.” ― Byron Pulsifer
“…By the time Thursday rolls around, you stay in, and you work, and you don’t go out because it’s horrible.” ― El-P
“Sunday just came down like a nine-pound hammer … it was tainted with the closing-in feeling of the loss of freedom. Because after the sun went down, it came back up on Monday morning. And you had to go to work five more days. And it sucked.” ― Larry Brown
“It’s called “teamwork” but most of the time it’s everyone sitting around until one man does all the work.” — Thomas Wilbur
“None of us is as smart as all of us.” — Ken Blanchard
“Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.” — George Burns
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” ― Drew Carey
“Sure, there’s no ‘i’ in team, but there is an ‘m’ and an ‘e’.” — Kevin Myers
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it.” — Andrew Young
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” — Kin Hubbard
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
Funny Quotes for Each Day of the Week
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.” – Julio Alexi Genao
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.” – Ella Woodward
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” – Steven Wright
“Don’t let a day of the week have so much power over your happiness. Happy Monday!” – Andrea L’Artiste
“If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!” – John Wagner
“The best weeks start on Monday.” – Nice Peter
“Today I am doing better than yesterday, and tomorrow I hope to be doing better than I am today. And two days from now? Well, that’s a Monday, so I’ll be feeling shitty.” ― Jarod Kintz
“Why does winter feel like one big Tuesday?” – Todd Stocker
“It can’t be Sunday every day. There are also Mondays and Tuesdays.” – George Weah
“Tuesday is the most sensible day of the week.” – Emily P. Freeman
“Wednesdays are like Mondays in the middle of the week!” – Lee Fox Williams
“A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.” – Demetri Martin
“Happy Friday! Here’s to all of us who made it through another week of faking adulthood.” – Nanea Hoffman
“It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” ― Amy Neftzger
“Oh, my sweet Saturday, I have been waiting for you for six long days.” – Charmaine J. Forde
“I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.” – Anna Scott
“The goal of Sunday is to leave my home as little as possible.” – Mark Morris
“Happiness is a hot bath on a Sunday afternoon.” – A.D. Posey
Funny Thursday Sayings
“I wonder how to turn water into wine. Happy thirsty Thursday.”
“Happy Thursday! Pay day is almost here, I can almost taste it.”
“If 40 is the new 30, and 50 is the new 40, why can’t Thursday be the new Friday?”
“If TGIF is Thank God It’s Friday, then today must be SH*T, Sure Happy It’s Thursday.”
“It’s thankful Thursday – tell me something you are thankful for today.”
“If you can stand on tiptoes, you can see Friday. There’s light at the end of the weekend tunnel!”
“It’s Thursday. Let’s get shaken and stirred. Do I smell the weekend?”
“Dear Thursday: Are you sure you’re not Friday? Because I could really go for it being Friday. Nothing personal, it’s just been a long week”
“It’s funny; your Man Crush Monday is my Throwback Thursday.”
“People who think Thursday is the new Friday have serious mental problems.”
“The only thing I throwback on Thursday is Scotch.”
“May your Thursday feel like pancakes and coffee on a Saturday morning.”
“In case you have not made any plans for the weekend yet, it’s Thursday. Start planning!”
“Thursday. The most useless day. it only exists as a reminder that it’s been a really long week…and it’s still not over.”
“It’s Thursday… or as I like to call it… “Day 4 of the hostage situation”
“I wait until Thursday to ask people about their weekend plans so there’s a better chance they’re already busy.”
“Wednesday is hump day which makes Thursday ‘I wonder if he’ll call’ day.”
“Thursdays are just wannabes. They wannabe Friday but they’re not.”
“Friday just called. She’ll be here tomorrow and she’s bringing the wine.”
“Thursday, you’re only one day away from being two days away from doing the same work you’re doing right now!”
“You say Thursday. I say it’s Friday Eve.”
So that’s that! We hope we’ve helped you find the quote you were looking for.
Now get out there and enjoy your Thursday!
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About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.