Do you know what I don’t like thinking about? Mondays. If you’re like me and want to start your week on a positive note through some funny Monday quotes, you’ve come to the right place. We think that when it comes to Monday quotes, funny ones are the best and think these quotes and funny Monday sayings lift your spirits as the work week starts.
Funny Short Monday Quotes for Instagram
“Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.” ― Louise Fitzhugh
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.” ― Rebecca Gober
“I don’t like Mondays, especially if they occur on Fridays.” ― Jarod Kintz
“Everyday is Monday….till Friday.” ― Viktor VolksPrater
“Your Monday is not going to be like Saturday; the emotions are going to be different.” ― Jean Grae
“Monday is for people with a mission.” ― Christina Imre
“If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!” ― John Wagner
“There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” ― Anton Chekhov
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.” ― Jarod Kintz
“Monday is great for becoming too busy to die.” ― Roy Station
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.” ― Julio Alexi Genao
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.” ― Andrea L’Artiste
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” ― Steven Wright
“Like the song says, rainy days and Mondays always get ya down.” ― Haruki Murakami
“There are no miracles on Mondays.” ― Amy Neftzger
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.” ― Ella Woodward
“Life is like Friday on a soap opera. It gives you the illusion that everything is going to wrap up, and then the same old shit starts up on Monday.” ― Stephen King
“I’ve always hated Mondays, the whole lot of them.” ― Jonathan Hull, Losing Julia
“The awfulness of Monday mornings is the world’s greatest common denominator.” ― Kenneth Fearing
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.” — Tony Smite
“On Monday mornings, I am dedicated to the proposition that all men have created jerks.” ― H. Allen Smith
“Monday isn’t that bad to be honest, What makes it bad is living in it.” ― Day
“Don’t let the Monday morning quarterbacks stop you from being bold. You’ve got to set a high bar.” ― Antonio Villaraigosa
“The only good Monday is a Monday in bed” ― Lee Horton
“What do sharks do on Monday mornings? They get up and start biting. That’s me.” ― Gemma Collins
“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.” — Jim Davis
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures.” ― Arthur Darvill
“The best weeks start on Monday.” ― Nice Peter
“Every Monday you wake up is a day to make a change.” – Irvine Welsh
“I hate mornings, they start so early.” — Janet Evanovich
“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” — Ursula Le Guin
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.” — James Marsden
“Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” — Rachel Caine
If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of funny Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday quotes.
Funny Monday Humor Quotes
“Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.” — Kurt Cobain
“By and large I think art is made by people who have discipline married to talent in sufficiently large amounts to work even if they don’t feel like it. Anybody can get maudlin and decide to write poetry at 11 at night; the question is, can you do it at 8:30 on a Monday morning..?” ― Clive Barker
“There are two tests in life, more important than any other test. On Monday morning, when you wake up, do you feel in the pit of your stomach you can’t wait to go to work? And when you’re ready to go home Friday afternoon, do you say, ‘I can’t wait to go home?’” ― Chuck Schumer
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.” ― Lisa Mantchev
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook
30. “Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss
“I must break the routines and become a person who becomes productive every Monday. I must break the mindset of unhappiness and turn myself into a happy magnet for Mondays.” ― Leggy Saul
“The challenge of every Monday is to maintain the same vitality in each and every day of the week.” ― Byron Pulsifer
“Do or do not. There is no try. “ — Yoda
“The biggest thrill wasn’t in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday.” ― Art Rooney
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” ― A. A. Milne
“I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”
“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” ― Ashleigh Brilliant
“After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.”
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” ― Steven Wright
“Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.”
“In my life long study of human beings, I have found that no matter how hard they try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workday lives of meaningless toin and suffering.” ― Jeff Lindsay
“Mondays are the start of the work week which offers new beginnings 52 times a year!” ― David Dweck
“Sunday just came down like a nine-pound hammer … it was tainted with the closing-in feeling of the loss of freedom. Because after the sun went down, it came back up on Monday morning. And you had to go to work five more days. And it sucked.” ― Larry Brown
“Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.” ― Dan Salomon
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“The reward for good work is more work.” — Francesca Elisia
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.” ― Garry Moll
“There is nothing more dreadful than having to go walking on one’s own on Monday.” ― Thomas Bernhard
“Today I am doing better than yesterday, and tomorrow I hope to be doing better than I am today. And two days from now? Well, that’s a Monday, so I’ll be feeling shitty.” ― Jarod Kintz
“What about Monday? That could be one day we look at things the same way and wear funny shoes.” ― Kevin Dalton
“If I could, I’d give up Mondays to have her love again. Actually, forget her love, I’d give up Mondays for free.” ― Jarod Kintz
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.” ― George Leedy
“When you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.” ― Marilyn Monroe
“Someday is not a day of the week.” — Denise Brennan-Nelson
“If there was a day of the week I could skip it would be Monday.” ― Stan Turner
“You can write the best column in the world on Monday, and it does you absolutely no good on Tuesday.” ― Lewis Grizzard
Funny Quotes for Each Day of the Week
“Why does winter feel like one big Tuesday?” – Todd Stocker
“Tuesday is the most sensible day of the week.” – Emily P. Freeman
“No one likes Tuesday morning but at least it’s not Monday morning.” – Bev Johnston
“A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.” – Demetri Martin
“Wednesdays are like Mondays in the middle of the week!” – Lee Fox Williams
“Thursday is perhaps the worst day of the week. It’s nothing in itself; it just reminds you that the week has been going on too long” – Nicci French
“I wish you a tolerable Thursday. That’s all any of us can hope for.” – April Winchell
“Happy Friday! Here’s to all of us who made it through another week of faking adulthood.” – Nanea Hoffman
“It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” ― Amy Neftzger
“Oh, my sweet Saturday, I have been waiting for you for six long days.” – Charmaine J. Forde
“I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.” – Anna Scott
“Happiness is a hot bath on a Sunday afternoon.” – A.D. Posey
“The goal of Sunday is to leave my home as little as possible.” – Mark Morris
“Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities.” ― R.K. Narayan
“A bad day doesn’t mean a bad week or a bad month or a bad year.” ― Anuj Jasani
“All days from the week are typical, that’s all… nothing less, nothing more.” ― Deyth Banger
“The week is full of rainbow fruit.” ― Anthony T. Hincks
124. “The best weeks start on Monday.” ― Nice Peter
“When the week begins, try your best to let your best overcome your worst and that is the best. Do your best to have a good week and never be weak in the week.” ― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
“If life was a book; every day would be a new page, every month would be a new chapter, and every year would be a new series.” ― Elizabeth Duivenvoorde
“Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities.” ― R.K. Narayan
Funny Monday Sayings
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Today is Monday, and that reasons enough for me to hate it.”
“People who say “good morning” should be forced to prove it. Happy Monday!”
“Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… Monday has been cancelled, go back to sleep.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close from Monday?
“Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has past and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets here.”
“Monday is one of my favourite days of the week. My 7th favourite.”
“Monday?! But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet…”
“There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.”
“Nothing screws up your Friday like realizing it’s only Monday.”
“I haven’t had this bad of a Monday since last Monday.”
“Happy Monday. Wait, better yet, happy only four days until Friday.”
“There’s no more difficult transition than Sunday to Monday.”
Funny Monday Captions
Life should be paused before Monday mornings.
It’s Monday so act like it
Wishing it was Sunday again.
Shortest horror story: MONDAY.
Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.
It’s Monday but keep smiling.
May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.
May today be the Mondayest Monday that ever Mondayed.
Enjoy your Monday. Only 5 more days til the weekend
Even the best weeks start on Monday.
Just a little funny Monday.
Living in a Mondaze
Not ready to Monday.
On Mondays, my coffee is medicinal.
Can’t we skip Monday.
Monday. There’s nothing that bed can’t fix
Don’t look but here comes Monday.
My Saturday was going really well until it turned into Monday.
Monday takes a little coffee and a lot of mascara.
If each day is a “gift”, I’d like to know where I can return Monday.
Warning: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent Monday. There is no cure.
So there you have it! We hope we’ve helped you find the best quote you were looking for.
Now get out there and enjoy your Monday!
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About the Author
Laynni Locke
I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.
And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.
With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.