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100 Tee-rific Golf Puns and One Liners

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We think that when it comes to golf puns, funny ones are definitely the best. So we collected all of the best funny golf puns and put them in one handy list for you to pull out during your next round. Or you can choose one to go with your next great golf photo. As a bonus, we have also included the best one liner golf jokes.

Our Favorite Golf Puns

  • Careful, putter fingers
  • I like to go clubbing… on the golf course.
  • I usually golf in the mid 70’s… Any colder and I just stay home.
  • Everybody trap your hands
  • Old golfers never die, they just keep putting along.
  • I like big putts and I cannot lie.
  • Golfer’s favorite flowers – Fore-get-me-nots.
  • This guy spends more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff
  • Let’s get this par-tee started
Golf ball with funny golf puns
  • Un-fore-gettable in every way
  • You’re the best person to golf with by par.
  • You’re my favorite person to golf with by par.
  • Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
  • If you golf on election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot.
  • It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do
  • May the course be with you.
  • Nice shot, shankapotamus
  • No ifs, ands, or putts about it
  • Putter late than never
Golfer at sunset with golf captions funny
  • Un-fore-gettable, in every way.
  • Green there, done that
  • I’m not really that bad at putting, I just can’t catch a break.
  • Stay humble and put your eagle aside
  • Stop leering at my putt.
  • You are my cup of tee
  • You’re the best, by par
  • A chip off the old block
  • As par as the eye can see.
  • Care fore a spot of tee?
  • To tee or not to tee.
  • Catch me riding birdie
  • Old Golfers never die, they just putter around/away.
  • Golf was not our sport but was an absolutely gorgeous day to give a swing at it.
  • It’s ball or nothing
  • You putt me in a great mood.
  • Let it tee
  • My doctor says to take my iron every day.
  • The golfer’s diet: stay on the greens.
  • This is all fore the best
  • What a load of trap
Golf ball with cute golf puns
  • Having a (golf) ball whenever I’m with you.
  • Golf forth and prosper
  • Good times as par as the eye can see
  • It doesn’t get putter than this
  • Flying on a golf-stream jet.
  • May the course be with you
  • No ifs, ands or putts
  • Over the hills and fore away
  • This is all fore the best.
  • Green and bear it
  • I golf you on my mind
Golfer with funny cute golf captions
  • Start of a beautiful friend-chip
  • Putter late than never.
  • Who’s your caddy?
  • You drive me crazy
  • It’s a tee-utiful day.
Golfer with funny golf puns
  • This is my cup of tee.
  • Address the ball. Hello, ball!
  • Asking fore a friend
  • Careful there, putter fingers
  • Down putt not out
  • Fairway to heaven
  • Proof is in the putting.
  • Kiss my putt
  • The duke of hazards
  • Living on greens!
Golf ball with short puns about golf
  • Bye Bye Birdie
  • To tee or not to tee
  • Fore-get me nots
  • The golf of Mexico.
  • Let’s par-tee
  • I am the golf-father.
  • Asking fore a friend.
  • Fore-get me nots.
Golf cart with funny golf captions
  • The Bogey-man.
  • Having a rough time
  • Kiss my putt.
  • Swingin’ in the rain
  • You’re tee-riffic
  • All bets par off.
  • Talk birdie to me.

If you like these, you might also want to check out our other lists of Funny Golf Captions, Funny Golf Quotes, Funny Summer Quotes, Funny Fishing Quotes and Short Nature Quotes.

One Liner Golf Jokes

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

What do golfers do on their days off? Putter around.

Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.

Which actress is incredible at golf? Minnie Driver.

The best wood in most golfer’s bags is the pencil.

What are the primary components of a golfer’s diet? A lot of greens and water.

Golfers are scared of the Bogey-man.

Golf is like life.. you strive for the green, but end up in the hole.

Golf green with one liner golf jokes

I shot one under at golf. One under a tree, and one under the water.

What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars? Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

The only thing that causes more cheating than golf is income taxes.

A friendly golfer is known as a social putter-fly.

A golfer’s favorite flowers are fore-get-me-nots.

Computers are good at golf because they have a hard drive.

Golf is the only game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well.

One golf ball said to the other, “See you a round.”

What do you call a monkey who wins the Masters? The chimpion!

What did the sign above the golf club bar say? “Don’t drink and drive. Don’t even putt.”

I wish I could play my normal game…Just once!

In golf, the slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you!

Golfer with funny golf Instagram captions

A golfer’s favorite bird is an eagle.

Golf is an easy game… it’s just hard to play.

It takes fore golfers to change a lightbulb.

Oxymoron: An easy par three.

Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work… and both are expensive.

Where do ghouls and ghosts play their golf? On a golf corpse.

What do golfers do on their days off? Putter around.

The term “mulligan” is really a contraction of the phrase “maul-it-again.”

A golfer’s favorite dance is the bogey.

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

What do you call a wizard that can turn himself into a golf club? Harry Putter.

To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.

Golf ball with golf one liner jokes and puns

Why do golf announcers whisper? Because they don’t want to wake up the people watching.

Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with disappointments.

Golfers always carry two pairs of pants, in case they get a hole in one.

Golf is what you play when you’re too out of shape to play softball.

I play in the low 80’s. If it’s any hotter than that, I won’t play.

When golfers aren’t golfing, they putter around.

Practice Tee: A place where golfers go to convert a nasty hook into a wicked slice

Funny Golf Sayings

  • Golf is a great way to quickly become disappointed in yourself.
  • I hate golf! I Hate Golf!! And I HATE GOLF!!! Oooh! Nice shot! I Love Golf!
  • If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. And If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.
  • Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.
  • Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.
  • Keep on hitting it straight until the wee ball goes in the hole.
  • Never try to shot you haven’t practiced.
  • Eat… Sleep… Golf
Golf carts with short funny captions for golf
  • Golf is a good walk spoiled.
  • I like long, romantic rides in the golf cart.
  • My body is here but my mind is on golf.
  • Half of the golf is fun, the other half is putting.
  • I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
Golfers with funny clever golf captions
  • Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at.
  • Take a break from life, enjoy the fresh air and shout a bunch of expletives at a golf ball.
  • Summer golf feeling
  • Fluent in golf.
  • If it involves golf, count me in
  • Golf hair don’t care.
  • Life is short. Spend it at the golf course.
  • In golf as in life, it’s the follow through that counts.

“I don’t play golf to feel bad, I play bad golf, but I feel good.” ― Henry Beard

“Golf is Not a great sport. If you can smoke and drink while you’re doin’ it, it’s not a sport.” ― Michael Connelly

“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.” ― Dave Berry

“Golf is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.” ― P.G. Wodehouse

“Golf has some drawbacks. It’s possible, by too much of it, to destroy the mind.” ― Sir W.G. Simpson

Golfer with funny golf quotes by Diller

“The most important shot in golf is the next one.” ― Ben Hogan

“The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.” ― Billy Graham

“If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.” ― Bob Hope

“Golf is like solitaire. When you cheat, you cheat only yourself.” ― Tony Lema

“They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken.” ― Raymond Floyd

“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” ― Gerald Ford

Golf ball with golf quotes funny by Simpson

“Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don’t you?” ― Ben Hogan.

“I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.” ― G. K. Chesterton

“Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly 40 years to discover that I can’t play it.” ― Ted Ray

“There is no movement in golf that cannot be made more difficult through diligent study and practice.” ― Henry Beard

“My worst day at golf still beats my best day at work.” ― Corn Rows

Golfer with funny quotes for golfing by Rows

“Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at.” Dave Hill

“Most people play a fair game of golf, If you watch them.” ― Joey Adams

So there you have it! That is our list of puns and one liners

Woman holding up a clear chunk of ice on the beach

About the Author

Laynni Locke

I am Laynni Locke, a Canadian writer, reader and traveller with a passion for sharing life’s moments on social media. Keeping friends and family in the loop of our lives though photos and videos has become an essential activity for most.

And it doesn’t matter if you are travelling, celebrating a special occasion or just appreciating day-to-day life, when you take that perfect photo you are going to need the perfect caption or quote before you share it. Which is why we started Routinely Shares, providing comprehensive lists of quotes and captions to cover every occasion, adventure or loved one.

With extensive experience as a travel writer, social media specialist and grant writer, I have made it my mission to curate the best and easiest to use lists for your next post.

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